Good post, at a good time in my life actually :-P. Funny how that works, huh?
I had been spending months working on helping a friend out, just trying my hardest to get this kid to grow up and face the world. To solve daily problems, and to be functional. I can figure that he has a crappy father, so I felt a little sorry for him, and wanted to just help him out.
Well, the project is really starting to take up a lot of time and energy. A LOT. I'm a pretty helpful guy by nature, but this has come to the point where it's simply something that I can't invest this much time and energy. On top of that, no matter how much I help him out, it never really feels like I'm helping him... it only feels like I'm perpetuating his negative thought patterns. I see very little growth for all the time and energy I've invested.
Now, I'm not one to "give up" on people, or anything like that. But there does come a point when you have to say to yourself, "Gee, is this REALLY worth this much time and energy? If I put in a months effort to just get him to say 'Thank you', is this how I want to spend my time? Is this where I want to spend my mental energy?"
The solution provided by your post is a relief to my psyche :-P. And it is guilt free. It comes with the realization that I do want to help him, and I do want him to be successful, and I do want him to grow up and have a happy life - but I can't afford to help him to the degree that I've been helping him. If I could, I would. But realistically speaking - I can't. Yes it does suck. But it's the reality of the situation.
~Sean  |