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Originally Posted by Shyone Unless you truly want to dedicate your life to helping others, just create a balance - both give and take. |
Yup. I should start looking into that.
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Originally Posted by Angela Now, there is no amount of poor, hungry people you can help that will convince you that "I am unimportant" is not true, because you have been practicing believing it for so long that it really feels like The Truth to you. You are a bottomless pit and so you can't be filled up. If someone tries to convince you that you are not unimportant, chances are good that you will dismiss their opinion as unimportant. All your time is spent trying to avoid people finding out that you are unimportant and proving that "I am not important" is not true. Any efforts you make in feeding the hungry and helping the poor will feel like treading jello, because you won't get yourself any further along in feeling important. |
Yeah, looking back at my life, that sounds true to me. I remember doing a couple of projects early this year and eventhough I was taking a lot of responsibility, I always believed that I'm a fraud who's not good enough, and that even without me things will go fine, probably even better. In fact, most of the time I'll think of people who'll do it better than me, and it just makes me want to do even more just to prove to myself that I am important to the project. It really did feel like a bottomless pit, like I'm never contributing enough. Whenever they tell me I did a good job, I'll just think, "Yeah, you're just being nice. I bet X or Y or even Z would do a better job, in less time, with less problems. You just chose me because there's no one else around."
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Originally Posted by Angela {sigh.} But here's the good news! You have the power to remove the power "I am unimportant" has over you! There are some great ways around to help you: my coaching, Byron Katie's The Work, the Landmark Forum, EFT and TAT, and others that have been mentioned in these forums. |
Whoa, that's a lot, and some I'm not familiar with. I think if I learn all of them, I can just confuse my limiting belief into disappearing.
I've read a few of the threads where you were helping some members get over their limitng beliefs, and it seems to give them some good results, so if it's possible I'd love to give it a try.
About the other methods, I'm only familiar with EFT and The Work. I've used EFT a few times and got some results, but I just can't get used to its weirdness. And I find The Work quite hard for me to do despite its simplicity. Maybe I try to overcomplicate it too much.
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Originally Posted by Angela Can you imagine what would be possible, both in your own life and for you to generate for others, if you were not believing that thought, "I am unimportant"? |
I'll stop feeling guilty for doing things I enjoy, that's one. I won't avoid meeting my friends, I won't give up my plans, I'll start speaking up my mind, I won't sacrifice myself just to make someone feel better. I'll start looking for more opportunities to use my skills, I won't avoid doing things because I know somebody out there is doing a better job and I'm just a second rate hack. In fact, I'll probably even help people out more. Weird.
Ok, this list is too long, and it's starting to sound like I'm describing somebody else. But wow, the possibilities.