 Hang in there
I am so sorry you have to be hurt by your father s attitude.
It looks like he has been like this for a long time and that he won't change. Maybe he was badly treated and emotionally abused by his own parents and is unable to separate himself from what happened to him as a child.
In any case, you have made the decision that history will not repeat itself by trying to find a compassionate way to deal with him and open communication.
I endured years of emotional torture and of being unable to communicate with my father on a positive level, yet, in the end, I was able to tell him everything I wanted him to know before he died: mainly that I loved him yet did not approve of the way he treated me. Point. We both agreed upon the fact that we were very different and unable to understand one another s POW.In the end he did say that I was a good daughter. But it took the prospect of death for him to actually say it.
Some people do not know how to show love, even to their own children.Some people are willing to change, but for others, it s too late or too difficult. It is hard to accept the fact that one s parent will never act like a loving,compassionate person towards you.
If you can remove yourself from his hurtful attitude, it is great. It is wonderful to show compassion towards him, but your first responsibility is to yourself. Be your own great wonderful loving father and take good care,protect yourself from hurt. It is not because one is your parent that they have the right to treat you badly. You can respect your father, without respecting his attitude.  |