If I were you, I would propose without a ring, and have your invitation to marry you be all about the words and the sentiment. Then talk to her about what kind of ring she'd like to wear -- she might not be interested in wearing a diamond, or even a ring! at all. Maybe you two can design a very meaningful piece together.
That whole size/clarity thing is a throwback to the ancient days when people still bought into the scam/sham that is the bridal industry. And please don't buy into the other incredible bs that you must spend thousands of dollars on a wedding, and start your marriage off by going into debt!
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