Quote:
Originally Posted by Lana  [...]
I think that I have learned my lessons well… yes I know what I want from now on from a relationship, I just wanted it to be with him finally… How do you fight bad timing? No way I guess… and it takes two to have a relationship. Anyway, were you able to cut off from that guy completely? I simply can’t do that, but I am in no position of telling him now to be friends. I just don’t know how to handle this. I am thinking about speaking to him for a last time about how I am thinking of us together in the future, and then let him decide. Because rigth now he thinks I am fine with the situation as it is (how stupid am I to have told him I have no problem with the other girl  ) |
In my case, cutting him off wasn't entirely my decision. He dumped me (not the first time), I was a bit of a mess for weeks but happened to have a 2 month trip abroad planned shortly after that. Meeting new people and being in a completely different environment helped me get better, regain my smashed self esteem and gain perspective. When I came back, I had an email from him saying, basically "So do you want to come to my place [so we can have sex]?" I wondered if I was reading right, if he was really such an a*s. I asked him that exactly, and his answer? "Oh well, I was horny, worth a shot." So I got immediate confirmation that cutting him out was the right decision!
You really don't have many options here, wait or break up. I really advise you take the initiative of breaking up, telling him exactly why. And don't wait for him! If there is any chance at all of a real relationship happening, he will need to make a strong move, no matter what. If he doesn't, lesson learnt, allow yourself some time to wallow and then life goes on.
Parthon, he may indeed be carrying trauma or refraining himself from loving, but for Lana this doesn't matter much: the point is she wants to be in a relationship and, whatever the reason, he does not. They cannot be happy together at this point.