[Lana]

Thanks for the answers… I see one more time that people outside of the situation can be objective and offer you a clear perspective… and it’s true that truth hurts But you finally have to face it in the eye and stop fooling yourself.

Understand just one thing about people and relationships: you can never change the other person. If they change, it's because they wanted to. But it makes no sense to hang around waiting, hoping, crying, or pushing to make them into something they're not.

Funchy you are so right, through the stuff I ‘ve been with this person I have fully realized that! But in this case, I find myself hanging on because he doesn’t open up to me and he makes it seem as though we are not together due to the circumstances… bad timing and all. Also, I am not trying to change him… I have just always tried to prove to him that I trully care and love him. How can it be that you tell a person how you feel but he is cynical and ironic and doesn’t believe you?? This drives me crazy. I would accept it if he told me he doesn’t feel the same way, but he just keeps rejecting my feelings… and deep down I want to believe that he is acting that way because he is afraid of commitment and intimacy.

If your experience goes like mine, it will indeed be tough and heartbreaking, but it will also be a great learning experience. You will know for sure what you want out of future relationships and what boundaries to set so that they are based on mutual respect - be they commited or casual.

aelle I think that I have learned my lessons well… yes I know what I want from now on from a relationship, I just wanted it to be with him finally… How do you fight bad timing? No way I guess… and it takes two to have a relationship. Anyway, were you able to cut off from that guy completely? I simply can’t do that, but I am in no position of telling him now to be friends. I just don’t know how to handle this. I am thinking about speaking to him for a last time about how I am thinking of us together in the future, and then let him decide. Because rigth now he thinks I am fine with the situation as it is (how stupid am I to have told him I have no problem with the other girl )