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funchy · 10-16-2008, 07:19 PM

As a woman, I'm not sure I agree with these sweeping generalizations or "laws" of attraction. I also don't agree that all women use nice guys or that women are overly complicated.

Women are just different then men in how they interact. We relate in terms of emotions, not just facts or external things. We recognize social status in different ways. We may be more socially focused rather then a man. We are emotional, but in a way that makes us easier to deal with because our emotions are on the surface, not hidden out of sight.

Women and men both like to feel special. If you can make others feel special, you should have no problem attracting friends and dates.

Most people (men and women) would benefit from improving their listening. And when I say listening I don't mean just remembering words, I mean paying attention, being aware, & focusing. Women want to be loved and part of loving her is loving what is important to her. Bonus points if you learn to like her friends, her parents, and her dog.

I don't want a guy to play a game. Just be yourself. If being yourself isn't getting women to notice, it may just be a communications issue. Sometimes we don't know that you know you like us. Or sometimes we notice and let on we're interested, too, but you don't notice that we signaled back that we like you. Some men go through oscillations of being afraid to say something to the woman and then making assumptions on what she means/thinks/feels.

Here's a big secret: in our teens and 20s many women are often just as nervous or uncomfortable as you are when dating someone new.

I don't agree that women take advantage of nice guys. Some women may take advantage of guys who have poor self esteem, poor social skills, or poor common sense; however, a guy can be a 'nice guy' and NOT have those issues. People get into trouble when they look to a relationship for self-esteem. A person can only be a victim if they allow it to happen.

I feel like the bigger problem is that we live in a culture where people rarely meet & interact outside of work/school. Some men I know go straight from their job to home. Their food is delivered. Their entertainment is TV. It really hard to meet other people (men or women).

Best wishes to you, suchnessofmoment, with your new relationship!

10-16-2008, 07:19 PM	#5 (permalink)
funchy Family Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: east coast, USA Posts: 1,628	As a woman, I'm not sure I agree with these sweeping generalizations or "laws" of attraction. I also don't agree that all women use nice guys or that women are overly complicated. Women are just different then men in how they interact. We relate in terms of emotions, not just facts or external things. We recognize social status in different ways. We may be more socially focused rather then a man. We are emotional, but in a way that makes us easier to deal with because our emotions are on the surface, not hidden out of sight. Women and men both like to feel special. If you can make others feel special, you should have no problem attracting friends and dates. Most people (men and women) would benefit from improving their listening. And when I say listening I don't mean just remembering words, I mean paying attention, being aware, & focusing. Women want to be loved and part of loving her is loving what is important to her. Bonus points if you learn to like her friends, her parents, and her dog. I don't want a guy to play a game. Just be yourself. If being yourself isn't getting women to notice, it may just be a communications issue. Sometimes we don't know that you know you like us. Or sometimes we notice and let on we're interested, too, but you don't notice that we signaled back that we like you. Some men go through oscillations of being afraid to say something to the woman and then making assumptions on what she means/thinks/feels. Here's a big secret: in our teens and 20s many women are often just as nervous or uncomfortable as you are when dating someone new. I don't agree that women take advantage of nice guys. Some women may take advantage of guys who have poor self esteem, poor social skills, or poor common sense; however, a guy can be a 'nice guy' and NOT have those issues. People get into trouble when they look to a relationship for self-esteem. A person can only be a victim if they allow it to happen. I feel like the bigger problem is that we live in a culture where people rarely meet & interact outside of work/school. Some men I know go straight from their job to home. Their food is delivered. Their entertainment is TV. It really hard to meet other people (men or women). Best wishes to you, suchnessofmoment, with your new relationship!