[pterodactyl]

I wholeheartedly disagree with Buttercat. For the record, I'm sick of these terms 'masculine energy' and 'feminine energy'; it's a big load of David Deida mysticism and I'm tired of it, not only because it is false, simplistic and inane but also because it mainly seems to promote and serve traditional gender roles. While there is nothing wrong with traditional gender roles if one chooses to employ them, they are not suited for everyone and it is irrational and unproductive to rely on models of sexuality or relationships that promote stereotypes and generalities. I do agree with marklang's assertion that it's primarily a symantics issue; the 'control' position is not synonymous with masculinity, nor is it (from my view and experience) typically associated with masculinity in relationships. From my perspective, if any person generally has more 'control' over normal heterosexual sex, it is most often the female in the relationship.

I am tired of intertwining sexuality with control. At its highest, sex is about the expression of love, intimacy and creativity; at its basest, it's a mechanism for people to get in touch with their fears and hatred through dominating or being dominated. This is gender-independent.

I see "masculine energy" associated with protection and nurturing, and it doesn't compel me to submit with my "feminine energy". From my view, "masculinity" is very positive and it's about love rather than control or power, and being boosted up by those whom one serves through leadership. This is independent of gender. This holds true in sexual situations; I feel loved, nurtured and protected by my husband but he feels the same from me. He does not feel the need to dominate and I do not wish to be dominated; if he attempted this I would wonder what other issues (anger, rejection, etc) he was feeling that were beneath that need. If I feel "masculine energy" coming from my husband, then he is feeling it also from me. We're not in a gay marriage and I'm not Margaret Thatcher, so could it be that the masculine-feminine energy model is incorrect?