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striving4peace · 10-16-2008, 06:14 AM

I'm 29, never been in a relationship before either. (Funnily as of an hour of me writing this, I'm very very close on embarking on to a relationship)

And in general here are the things I've learnt - some of it from the PUA material, even though I'v maybe not necessarily implemented all of them, and they apply to the majority of people, there are lots of exceptions:
1) Girls are attracted to men who look confident, alive but yet mysterious
2) Girls like nice guys, but prefer them as friends or tend to use them
3) Girls are extremely complicated creatures whose wants and patterns change erratically. They'll give hidden messages which you have to look out for, and attach a lot of meaning to the protocol of interaction and portrayal

Now you've done something right: you've accepted your current state, you realize it's because of what you're portraying, and you want to change it all.

But swinging from one end of the spectrum to the extreme opposite isn't the answer.
Even if you want to meet intelligent / intellectually stimulating / highly concious girls and attract them to you - they're still girls at the end of the day and we're all looking to be attracted to someone and love them too.

Don't start giving out your love by being super nice and generous and humane - it's a good thing to be, but not necessarily to portray. What I've learnt as of late is that it's a marketing game. Portray the confident, intelligent, mysterious person.

And from personal experience: resolve your issues. Doesn't matter how, or how long it takes, but you gotta do it. You cant' portray the empty image of that person - you have to become that person. I'm still working on doing so, with some level of progress so far. You gotta do it for yourself, not just for attracting girls.

As far as lonliness is concerned, also focus on making friends: some of them close friends who you can lean on and who can lean on you. Try and aim to get to the point where having a relationship is inconsequential to your happiness. I was told that it is at that point that the relationship will 'happen', and though earlier I only believed in causality as the only factor, I now see luck / the universe / God / destiny / whatever you wanna put there - has a part to play too.

10-16-2008, 06:14 AM	#4 (permalink)
striving4peace Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 204	I'm 29, never been in a relationship before either. (Funnily as of an hour of me writing this, I'm very very close on embarking on to a relationship) And in general here are the things I've learnt - some of it from the PUA material, even though I'v maybe not necessarily implemented all of them, and they apply to the majority of people, there are lots of exceptions: 1) Girls are attracted to men who look confident, alive but yet mysterious 2) Girls like nice guys, but prefer them as friends or tend to use them 3) Girls are extremely complicated creatures whose wants and patterns change erratically. They'll give hidden messages which you have to look out for, and attach a lot of meaning to the protocol of interaction and portrayal Now you've done something right: you've accepted your current state, you realize it's because of what you're portraying, and you want to change it all. But swinging from one end of the spectrum to the extreme opposite isn't the answer. Even if you want to meet intelligent / intellectually stimulating / highly concious girls and attract them to you - they're still girls at the end of the day and we're all looking to be attracted to someone and love them too. Don't start giving out your love by being super nice and generous and humane - it's a good thing to be, but not necessarily to portray. What I've learnt as of late is that it's a marketing game. Portray the confident, intelligent, mysterious person. And from personal experience: resolve your issues. Doesn't matter how, or how long it takes, but you gotta do it. You cant' portray the empty image of that person - you have to become that person. I'm still working on doing so, with some level of progress so far. You gotta do it for yourself, not just for attracting girls. As far as lonliness is concerned, also focus on making friends: some of them close friends who you can lean on and who can lean on you. Try and aim to get to the point where having a relationship is inconsequential to your happiness. I was told that it is at that point that the relationship will 'happen', and though earlier I only believed in causality as the only factor, I now see luck / the universe / God / destiny / whatever you wanna put there - has a part to play too.