Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post

seeker5 · 10-15-2008, 08:41 PM

Ok, I want to improve how I handle casual situations and improve my social life.

I'm good at establishing deep friendships once I am friends with someone, and I'm good with being a leader in an organization - like Toastmasters. I'm naturally ok with establishing friendships online.

But so far, I'm baffled with dealing with casual situations in the physical world, especially when it involves more then one person at the same time. I'm a graduate student and I'm in a cohort group. That means, that all of us are taking the exact same 4 classes morning and evening. Two are in the morning, and two are in the early afternoon. Thus, we get out of the morning class, we have more then an hour for lunch and then we have the early afternoon class.

So when we get out of our morning classes, groups forms and go to lunch, and so far this semester, most of the time I end up eating alone while most of the others go out in different groups to eat lunch together. It's a little frustrating. At this rate, I'm seeing myself have the same type of social life I had as an undergraduate, and at companies where I've worked until now - which means - eating alone and not having much of a social life which would really sux and pretty much de-motivate me from even continuing my studies.

I'd really like to get out of that, and change it and develop the ability to have a rich social life where I'm eating lunch with people, having weekend plans, etc.

I've been invited to a few events so far this semester - like birthday get-together, and poker nights with my classmates - the kind of events where everyone is automatically invited to simply because you're in the cohort group. While there I've started doing the exercise from Steve's book where he talks about imagining you're connected with everyone else. It helps to make for a fun, enjoyable, and especially relaxing time, but it doesn't help when we're coming out of class and people are grouping to go get lunch.

So, any tips/suggestions/feedbacks?

10-15-2008, 08:41 PM	#1 (permalink)
seeker5 Family Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 3,606	Improving my social life Ok, I want to improve how I handle casual situations and improve my social life. I'm good at establishing deep friendships once I am friends with someone, and I'm good with being a leader in an organization - like Toastmasters. I'm naturally ok with establishing friendships online. But so far, I'm baffled with dealing with casual situations in the physical world, especially when it involves more then one person at the same time. I'm a graduate student and I'm in a cohort group. That means, that all of us are taking the exact same 4 classes morning and evening. Two are in the morning, and two are in the early afternoon. Thus, we get out of the morning class, we have more then an hour for lunch and then we have the early afternoon class. So when we get out of our morning classes, groups forms and go to lunch, and so far this semester, most of the time I end up eating alone while most of the others go out in different groups to eat lunch together. It's a little frustrating. At this rate, I'm seeing myself have the same type of social life I had as an undergraduate, and at companies where I've worked until now - which means - eating alone and not having much of a social life which would really sux and pretty much de-motivate me from even continuing my studies. I'd really like to get out of that, and change it and develop the ability to have a rich social life where I'm eating lunch with people, having weekend plans, etc. I've been invited to a few events so far this semester - like birthday get-together, and poker nights with my classmates - the kind of events where everyone is automatically invited to simply because you're in the cohort group. While there I've started doing the exercise from Steve's book where he talks about imagining you're connected with everyone else. It helps to make for a fun, enjoyable, and especially relaxing time, but it doesn't help when we're coming out of class and people are grouping to go get lunch. So, any tips/suggestions/feedbacks?