I'm going to take a different route. I don't think dieting and fitness are th answer for her. She can't live on this planet and not know that there are diets and there is exercise. She knows she needs those.
The question is, what is going on within her that she is self-sabotaging rather than caring for herself? Something deep within is distressing her. Does she know what it is? I suggest that you see if you can help her identify what is going on in her heart. She likely is not even aware and it can be something from long ago but you can get at it by being there for her and helping her open up and find that deep sadness. Exposing it can help begin the healing. When she has gotten in touch with that pain she will find the motivation to diet and exercise and take care of herself.
My 2 cents.
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