Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose of Cairo  Bruce, before I can think about your questions, I need to know what you mean exactly with compartmentalisation. How do you recognize compartmentalised people and how does compartmentalisation manifest, concretely? What are compartmentalised relationships? I have no clue what you're talking about! |
A good way to describe compartmentalisation is a win/lose situation, where
part of you is satisfied, but other parts are not.
Compartmentalisation is the practice of fragmenting yourself into different parts, and instead of living congruently as one cohesive whole, you only engage portions of yourself at any given instance when convenient to you or your conditioning, instead of engaging yourself fully, authentically, at all times.
These are examples of compartmentalisation in people:
"This person is really positive, but their health is terrible."
"This person is wants to help people, but they're completely fear-ridden."
“I’m empowered when I’m around this person most of the time, but I have to edge around many areas and can’t fully be myself the other times.”
“This person espouses oneness and love, but scams people for money.”
Someone who takes a bunch of supplement and pills for their health, but pigs-out on chocolate and other processed junk food. Someone who whines about the results they’re getting, but openly admits that they’re not willing to make efforts to improve their situation. Someone who goes to church, yet violates their religious beliefs the rest of the time. Someone who is “vegan,” but eats meat and dairy “once in a while” when they’re out “being social.” People who treat one group of people differently to another when they interact with each other. Someone who is passionate about personal development, but won't mention it to a certain group of people to avoid their reactions (something I used to do).
This is comparmentalisation.
When I “say yes” to compartmentalised things, I might manifest as me accepting something a situation, offer, or relationships I know isn’t ideal, but that I go along with anyway because it’s easier, or because I desire a certain aspect, etc. That means I’m comparmentalising my values (and a number of other things), putting a portion of myself aside in a particular interaction instead of engaging all of myself—all of my values—and holding everyone, and myself, to the same standards. Ultimately, I’m dividing myself up into parts and saying, “this part goes here. This part goes there. I’ll use these parts in X situation, but not in Y situation.”
I’m finding that associating with people who compartmentalise their life and have no interest in conscious growth is reinforce compartmentalisation in me—something I don’t want to continue to happen. Because they’re compartmentalised, they draw me into their frame, and I have to react on their terms instead of fully being myself and interacting with them authentically, and them doing the same with me.
On further inspection, it seems the answer to this issue is pretty simple, but I’m still not quite sure how far to take this.
Steve says that tolerance is resistance to love, but in order for me to deal with all the things I’m tolerating, I’d probably have to move to another country. I’m not kidding.
Ultimately, I’d be in greater alignment with the collective principles of truth, love, and power.
My main question is this: is there still a way to honour myself—my best self and what I aspire to embody on a daily basis—and my potential, while still honouring those around me, even if they’re compartmentalised?
It seems the answer is “no you can’t.” Again, tolerance is resistance to love, which is ultimately resistance to connecting to what’s important to you (which is my self-alignment and my potential, since those impact me as well as my contribution).
It just seems rather drastic to kind of axe the significant majority of relationships in my life. I’m up for the shift if it’s needed, but it seems like you couldn’t maintain such an ideal standard in your life all the time, which makes me wonder if there’s something that I’m missing—maybe some sort of way to look at things or a way to interact with people that allows you to honour yourself and their best self at the same time.
Perhaps the answer is to align yourself, as much as possible, with truth, love, and power, hence increasing your power and self-alignment and lessening the influence people have on you, thus drawing people into your frame, instead of being drawn into theirs and being negatively influenced and reinforced.