Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - How do I honor my potential & myself while dealing w/ compartmentalisation in others?

Bruce Achterberg · 10-13-2008, 06:52 AM

This is what I’d like help with:

To what degree do you have to compartmentalise to interact with others, and how do you deal with compartmentalised people if you decide that you aren’t going to compartmentalise? Do you just let them pass through your life? Do you just do your own thing? That doesn’t seem to be a good way to connect with others. It seems that you’d be looking for an ultimate ideal all the time, never really being able to find it, ending up isolated, in bad-standing with all your relationships.

Do you not settle at all so that there are no compartmentalised relationships or situations so you can always be yourself, no matter what, and you don’t have to deal with compartmentalised people?

Sounds great, but not very realistic, or at least, I can’t see how you could reasonably do it. Even if I made

That’s why I’m asking you—people who may have experienced similar things and come out on the other end.

Help me navigate to where you are now so that I may develop and utilise my potential, both for myself, and for everyone.

I can deal with my fears. I can deal with reprisal and have the ability to endure the upheaval and change associated with life changes. What I need is to know where to direct my efforts—where to direct my power.

How do I honour and love those around me, even if they’re compartmentalised, not perfect and choose to remain like that (or not), while still honouring and loving my potential.

Feel free to use Steve’s truth, love, and power model in your response if you think it’ll be helpful. I have Steve’s book, so you can also reference page number or sections if you like.

I’d just like some help navigating this area.

Going deeper:

If I want to look at this issue a little differently (in an unrelated way to the way I looked at it above)…

This is about love (or lack of connection to love, using Steve’s truth, love, and power model). I see I may need to massively change my situation so that I’m in a place of greater alignment. Move to Las Vegas. =)

In all seriousness, if that’s the path to greater potential and self-alignment, I’ll do it.

I can see that I could kind of bypass all of this if I just applied truth, love, and power. I see this is a lack of alignment with love, and in implementing that, I’d probably have to develop my power and, in the process, I’d probably end up aligning further with truth.

But it seems non-ideal to just trash everything and “pull a restart” (i.e. connect with and develop new relationships that resonate with me and are in alignment with truth, love, and power).

But then perhaps that’s what I need to do and what holds me back is what I’ll have to do to accept the entire “pull a restart” package. This may or may not relate to a fear of my own “light”—the package I’d have to accept if I was truly effective.

For a long time I’ve thought that’s what my issue might be, but I know no effect way to go from “non acceptance of my life” to “acceptance of my life.” Truth, love, and power make sense to me and give me a direction, but “acceptance” seems method and process-based, and methods never really work. I find principle-aligned personal development works best.

I guess I could just connect more with my light and learn to love it somehow, but that seems very abstract. I can envision that if I did that, yeah, I’d probably not tolerate what I tolerate now since I’d know very clearly what I’m capable of and wasting that wouldn’t feel right at all, but again, I’m not sure how to get to that point, and I kind of feel like I lack the motivation to get to that point and instead just go back to doing (possibly distracting myself with) other stuff.

Perhaps the real issue is that I think that I’ll have power when I eventually “get to X” point, which means I’m essentially giving my power away. Either way, I’m not sure how to proceed, which leaves me kind of feeling stuck, which results in me tending to my existing situation since I know how to deal with that. I can’t even really begin to see how I could start working on this other stuff. It seems to abstract and general.

Is there an elegant way to directly or indirectly address this issue—a way that I may be aware of, but don’t recognise it’s potential to really help me?

10-13-2008, 06:52 AM	#2 (permalink)
Bruce Achterberg Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: New South Wales, Australia (GMT+10) Posts: 970	(continued from the above post) This is what I’d like help with: To what degree do you have to compartmentalise to interact with others, and how do you deal with compartmentalised people if you decide that you aren’t going to compartmentalise? Do you just let them pass through your life? Do you just do your own thing? That doesn’t seem to be a good way to connect with others. It seems that you’d be looking for an ultimate ideal all the time, never really being able to find it, ending up isolated, in bad-standing with all your relationships. Do you not settle at all so that there are no compartmentalised relationships or situations so you can always be yourself, no matter what, and you don’t have to deal with compartmentalised people? Sounds great, but not very realistic, or at least, I can’t see how you could reasonably do it. Even if I made That’s why I’m asking you—people who may have experienced similar things and come out on the other end. Help me navigate to where you are now so that I may develop and utilise my potential, both for myself, and for everyone. I can deal with my fears. I can deal with reprisal and have the ability to endure the upheaval and change associated with life changes. What I need is to know where to direct my efforts—where to direct my power. How do I honour and love those around me, even if they’re compartmentalised, not perfect and choose to remain like that (or not), while still honouring and loving my potential. Feel free to use Steve’s truth, love, and power model in your response if you think it’ll be helpful. I have Steve’s book, so you can also reference page number or sections if you like. I’d just like some help navigating this area. Going deeper: If I want to look at this issue a little differently (in an unrelated way to the way I looked at it above)… This is about love (or lack of connection to love, using Steve’s truth, love, and power model). I see I may need to massively change my situation so that I’m in a place of greater alignment. Move to Las Vegas. =) In all seriousness, if that’s the path to greater potential and self-alignment, I’ll do it. I can see that I could kind of bypass all of this if I just applied truth, love, and power. I see this is a lack of alignment with love, and in implementing that, I’d probably have to develop my power and, in the process, I’d probably end up aligning further with truth. But it seems non-ideal to just trash everything and “pull a restart” (i.e. connect with and develop new relationships that resonate with me and are in alignment with truth, love, and power). But then perhaps that’s what I need to do and what holds me back is what I’ll have to do to accept the entire “pull a restart” package. This may or may not relate to a fear of my own “light”—the package I’d have to accept if I was truly effective. For a long time I’ve thought that’s what my issue might be, but I know no effect way to go from “non acceptance of my life” to “acceptance of my life.” Truth, love, and power make sense to me and give me a direction, but “acceptance” seems method and process-based, and methods never really work. I find principle-aligned personal development works best. I guess I could just connect more with my light and learn to love it somehow, but that seems very abstract. I can envision that if I did that, yeah, I’d probably not tolerate what I tolerate now since I’d know very clearly what I’m capable of and wasting that wouldn’t feel right at all, but again, I’m not sure how to get to that point, and I kind of feel like I lack the motivation to get to that point and instead just go back to doing (possibly distracting myself with) other stuff. Perhaps the real issue is that I think that I’ll have power when I eventually “get to X” point, which means I’m essentially giving my power away. Either way, I’m not sure how to proceed, which leaves me kind of feeling stuck, which results in me tending to my existing situation since I know how to deal with that. I can’t even really begin to see how I could start working on this other stuff. It seems to abstract and general. Is there an elegant way to directly or indirectly address this issue—a way that I may be aware of, but don’t recognise it’s potential to really help me?