Hey,
A good way of dealing with energy vamps is by not dealing with them and giving your energy to them. A typical thing that people do is try to change who they are instead of letting them be. We typically try to change the things we don't like in others that we don't like in ourselves. So, if you find yourself annoyed when you are being energy vamped odds are that you do the same thing. Once you find out how they are reflecting yourself go internally and change your own energy vamping ways.
From there figure out what your tolerance level for energy vamps and stick to it. Almost everyone is an energy vamp to some degree, find out your own tolerance level. For me, I can't stomach poor me's with victim mentalities. Hearing other people's problems that intend to do nothing about it is something I won't stick around for. I figure out who is a poor me and who genuinely wants to make changes by asking them "ok, what are you doing about it?" The ones with victim mentalities usually get flustered and quickly go back to their complaining.
Another great way of dealing with them is by stopping them before they go full out in energy vamping. A typically energy vamp that I see in people is an interrogator type that wants you to believe what they do by breaking down your reality-they offer a lot of unsolicited advice.
The way to stop them is by being sure of what you believe first. If you are unsure of your beliefs or your actions then you will find yourself arguing with them or even trying to convince them of what you believe. Without being sure you won't be able to stop them from giving that oh so annoying unsolicited advice.
With people that are pretty bad energy vamps you need to set up boundaries. Tell them "advice when asked for" not in a condescending way but more of a matter of fact kind of way. You are probably going to have to repeat that many times before they get the idea. Be firm with them. Over time you will be able to talk normally without the nasty feeling in your gut when you are being energy vamped.
You must eliminate all fear of lose. Some people are easy to handle and others will not stop. The less happy a person is the more inclined they are to give advice and energy vamp you. People who are really bad you might have to walk away from them completely. If you fear losing them then you will stick it out while you feel worse and worse when you are around them.
good luck
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