Akash, I have to say you are my favorite poster here (you and Angie
). I feel like we're kindred souls. I feel that since you are only 17, I can at 25 show you the mistakes I made in not being true to myself at 17 so that you won't make those mistakes. The Internet is a wonderful thing, esp with Steve Pavlina in the atmosphere.
I have experiences everyday that make me a better person and a happier one. I am grateful everyday for my cognitive abilities so that I have the gift of interpretation.
Being raped by a total stranger was the best thing that ever happened to me. I'm so glad it happened. It took me out of "please everyone in society, impress people so they will love you" mode and into "natural law, people are primates, it is what it is" mode. I have never felt better. I will NEVER go back to being that idiot at 17.
This week I have a job interview. It will take me from "no job" to "VERY impressive job" person. I don't care about the herd being impressed about my job. I scorn the herd. I love ME. I will most likely get this job. But either way I am fine. I love my life and I love who I am right now. And I owe it all to the rape and the things that happened subsequently, and the things that happen everyday.
I'm sorry Plato, that I come across to you as a psycho. It's unfortunate, but I am no longer trying to please people, so it's ok.