[striving4peace]

I guess I'm not as much complaining about my choice itself, as much as I am complaining about the cards I got dealt because of the choice.
It's true I could have reversed the decision and tried casual sex, one night stands, anytime I wanted, but I just wasn't comfortable doing that. I wanted someone special to connect with, but for whatever reasons that didnt' happen - and the bottom line is I am where I am. Yes, I have to deal with the fact that there are things out of our control too - including who you meet and how it turns out.

EDIT: Actually this is a classic example of how we mess with our minds with clock time (for those who have read eckhart tolle). My mind gets focused on this 'a decade of sex missing from my life' like it is an arm or a leg missing, or a huge pile of money stolen from me. Like I'm living in poverty looking upon everybody else feasting on the buffet of life. I am what I am. Ugh. How do I keep reminding myself of that, and not slipping into the same rut of "I suck compared to everyone else cos they've had sex for years and I haven't".