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Rabbit · 10-11-2008, 11:46 PM

I hope I can put my troubled thoughts into a coherent message and not end up rambling... somebody slap me if that happens

.

I like to think of myself as an observant and seasoned (note: not necessarily wise) guy. As a 21 year old college student, I have seen many things, unfortunately more bad than good. I have been through personal crises and obtained the deep lessons that follow. I just want to preface this information so that I don't come of sounding like a whiny kid; on the contrary, I think that I have enough experience seeing this world to have a valid complaint.

But on to the good stuff: anyone who is introspective and sees what I see will invariably feel a bit depressed by this too. This 'life' that we have built, that our parents have built, that our parents' parents have built... it sucks!

I'm definitely not one to discount the little things in life that provide us with pleasure or the sense of wellness we obtain from relationships or accomplishment from work and etc.

I guess my main argument is that I can see the rather large facets of our lives (relationships/marriage, careers, building wealth and security ala the american dream) and I can see how they are so completely disappointing in general.

I've always been put off of the idea of graduating college because I am absolutely pissed that I will have to enter the workforce. I see my own father- an ingenious and productive man, who fought his way through poverty, through a rather large company to a respectable position- and I know that financial freedom/supporting a family makes him proud and happy.

I also see him working 60-80 hours a week, I see him literally being worked to death! Maybe this isn't typical for some or most of you... but the fact of the matter is it's generally agreed that hard work and time, time, time are required. I don't think I am comfortable with that idea!

Perhaps I just need to change my outlook on work... or find a career that I literally love doing so much that all of the mundane aspects are exciting... fat chance.

Another thing that has really been bothering me lately is that one of my parents' best friends are going through a separation quite suddenly. The husband recently proclaimed he has been unhappy for a while, and the wife is crushed. Divorce is not an uncommon thing; in fact, one of my best friends' parents were divorced when he was just a child, and my mother's parents did the same, etc.

I support divorce, especially if people are not happy in their relationship. But what does this mean for those of us in the rising generation who are about to get married? I've been in a relationship before where I was unhappy for a while, and to the detriment of my partner, I left. I've had my heart good and broken too. But marriage is supposed to be permanent... and people are supposed to communicate.

For all I know my mother or father could secretly be unhappy in their long marriage. And although such an admission, and the ensuing divorce, would not really crush me, it would have a much more subtle depressing effect. The same one I'm feeling when I heard about these family friends. I mean how many of these kinds of people in these relationships believe that they are completely secure and know what their partner is feeling? How often do you sit down and think about how much of your life is based around your current/future marriage? What do you think you'd do if this happened to you?

So I guess I'm trailing off at this point... Don't get me wrong, I'm no anarchist and I'm not calling for a revolution. I generally have a very positive outlook on life and my future. But what does it mean when you look around and see all of the institutions that your leaders and ancestors and parents built crumble? What does it mean when you realize that they have been crumbling on the periphery for a long time?

10-11-2008, 11:46 PM	#1 (permalink)
Rabbit Banned Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 84	Some revelations of a young adult... I hope I can put my troubled thoughts into a coherent message and not end up rambling... somebody slap me if that happens . I like to think of myself as an observant and seasoned (note: not necessarily wise) guy. As a 21 year old college student, I have seen many things, unfortunately more bad than good. I have been through personal crises and obtained the deep lessons that follow. I just want to preface this information so that I don't come of sounding like a whiny kid; on the contrary, I think that I have enough experience seeing this world to have a valid complaint. But on to the good stuff: anyone who is introspective and sees what I see will invariably feel a bit depressed by this too. This 'life' that we have built, that our parents have built, that our parents' parents have built... it sucks! I'm definitely not one to discount the little things in life that provide us with pleasure or the sense of wellness we obtain from relationships or accomplishment from work and etc. I guess my main argument is that I can see the rather large facets of our lives (relationships/marriage, careers, building wealth and security ala the american dream) and I can see how they are so completely disappointing in general. I've always been put off of the idea of graduating college because I am absolutely pissed that I will have to enter the workforce. I see my own father- an ingenious and productive man, who fought his way through poverty, through a rather large company to a respectable position- and I know that financial freedom/supporting a family makes him proud and happy. I also see him working 60-80 hours a week, I see him literally being worked to death! Maybe this isn't typical for some or most of you... but the fact of the matter is it's generally agreed that hard work and time, time, time are required. I don't think I am comfortable with that idea! Perhaps I just need to change my outlook on work... or find a career that I literally love doing so much that all of the mundane aspects are exciting... fat chance. Another thing that has really been bothering me lately is that one of my parents' best friends are going through a separation quite suddenly. The husband recently proclaimed he has been unhappy for a while, and the wife is crushed. Divorce is not an uncommon thing; in fact, one of my best friends' parents were divorced when he was just a child, and my mother's parents did the same, etc. I support divorce, especially if people are not happy in their relationship. But what does this mean for those of us in the rising generation who are about to get married? I've been in a relationship before where I was unhappy for a while, and to the detriment of my partner, I left. I've had my heart good and broken too. But marriage is supposed to be permanent... and people are supposed to communicate. For all I know my mother or father could secretly be unhappy in their long marriage. And although such an admission, and the ensuing divorce, would not really crush me, it would have a much more subtle depressing effect. The same one I'm feeling when I heard about these family friends. I mean how many of these kinds of people in these relationships believe that they are completely secure and know what their partner is feeling? How often do you sit down and think about how much of your life is based around your current/future marriage? What do you think you'd do if this happened to you? So I guess I'm trailing off at this point... Don't get me wrong, I'm no anarchist and I'm not calling for a revolution. I generally have a very positive outlook on life and my future. But what does it mean when you look around and see all of the institutions that your leaders and ancestors and parents built crumble? What does it mean when you realize that they have been crumbling on the periphery for a long time?