[KeithHandy]

If and when you ever feel that overwhelming sense of despair that would cause your ego to start playing the "suicide" card ... this is what works for me.

You need to rest and heal from the hit you just took. For some period of time, you may not in the mood to jump into "thinking positive" and "looking ahead". You may feel weak, drained, helpless, and like you have no options. Instead of trying to force positivity on yourself, give yourself ample time and space where you don't need to put on a mask for anyone, where you can just sit there or lie there and exist.

And when you carve out this space for yourself, observe yourself. Let go of all effort and just observe. How does this emotional pain feel in my toes? How does it feel in my ankles? In my head? In my stomach? Scan up and down yourself and just observe it from a detached and clinical place. And as you observe it, make peace with it. My head feels like this, period. My legs feel like this, period. They just plain feel that way, and they will for a while, and I'm going to stop fighting that.

Think of this as a "suicide substitute". You get the satisfaction of giving up, without losing the opportunity to live again later on. You're not throwing out the baby (your future) with the bathwater (your present).

Do not actively feed your negative thoughts! Do not cling, do not scheme, do not "what-if", do not "should have", "could have", or "would have". The point is to be a passive observer of yourself. You feel like crap, and your whole body feels like crap, and there you are. Don't expect anything at all, just let go, let it be, and observe.

It may seem strange that I'm not saying "think positive!" ... but we sometimes habitually invest so much energy into actively maintaining our negative thoughts, that by simply "dropping into neutral" for a while, we can regain the strength to get back on our feet in a shorter period of time. Give your whole mental process a rest. For now, sit there, make clinical observations of your own pain, and before you know it you will actually become bored with this and start naturally wanting to do something you like. This natural drift back towards positivity won't happen in a straight line, it will be short moments of inner peace at first, which will eventually grow longer and more stable as the negative feelings fade ... as long as you don't feed them ... the first tinges of hope may appear in as little as a few hours, while the complete transition could take days, weeks, or longer, depending on how you define "complete".

(Be careful to redefine "hope" in a broader context than simply wanting the unfortunate situation to reverse itself!)

In the case of heartbreak, you will find yourself remembering things that you had to leave behind when you entered the relationship. Maybe a hobby or passion of yours that was incompatible with your partner's values. It's as you emerge from this state of rest that you can start to visualize a better partner, or even a better life for the time being without that same kind of relationship at all. Usually a heartbroken guy has given the girl some part of himself she didn't deserve, and this is his chance to take it back. Welcome back the self that you gave away!

I wrote way more than I planned to, and I welcome other people's thoughts!