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I feel like I'm invisible...on the outside of reality more as an observer than an active participant. When I do try to interact with people it sometimes seems like I'm a nuisance to them.
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It could be that a lot of people don't expect friendly interaction from strangers and so it's like they have a wall. But at the same time I see lots of strangers interacting with each other...just not me. It could very well be that I'm the one with a wall up, even though I feel like I want to interact with people. I never thought my social skills were lacking but that doesn't mean they aren't!
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Aspiring, I want to share one thing I've discovered recently in my life, maybe you'll find it helpful.
There are no such thing as "they" (or "people" - "people don't like me", "I'm a nuisance to people" etc. I hope I'm clear).
It was a point in which I discovered what the "empowering belief" really means.
What do I do when I say "people don't want to talk with me"? I locate responsibility for quality of my life in other people. "They" like me or not - and I want they to like me (which is truth) - so "they" decided if I feel good or bad. Or I may also think: "I am not good enough to be someone's friend". But wait the moment - who create the criteria of being "good" or "bad"? Of course - "they", the other "people". And "they" are so unfair!
First belief --> "people" are set of individuals. And when you get individual and start observation, you'll discover, that he/she is not so different as you might think before. Maybe he or she wanted to talk to you, but thought, i.e. "No... She's so smart that she'll think that I'm dumb and reject me". or "What do I have to say? I'm boring".
Second – be proactive, or, in other words - take initiative.
Do you want to have more people around you? So go to them. Meet them, speak to them, spend time with them – and don't wait until they take the first step. Watch it from the proactive people's perspective – what beliefs allow someone to approach you and start a relationship of any kind? There are people who start conversation and the people that wait for the others to start. So now join this first club
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I am on the beginnng of this path, but I believe it's correct path.
I decide if I like someone and want to meet him/her, and if someone don't like me or don't want to speak to me - I always can find another person to speak to. I'm OK, and also he/she is OK.
I'm working on my beliefs and slowly improving my social skills. It seems hard but worth my effort. And it's really empowering, because the responsibility is in my hands.
The second issue.
Guess where does the feeling of being nuisance (and this "wall" too) come from? Your feeling is product of your thoughts and beliefs. And beliefs aren't truth itself; they're true if you have faith that they are true - that's it. And "people" generally play minor role in this process. You probably have no idea what other people think about you (I guess that you don't use telepathy), so in fact you fight with your own imagination.
Allow other people to take care of themselves.
If they want to communicate with you, or they want to meet you – even IF they consider it as something painful – it's they choice. They are responsible for they feelings and decisions, and you are OK
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Every human have the right to not being your friend – and you also have it in relation to others.
Greetings