Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - How do you cope with subtle put downs from others?

Patty · 10-09-2008, 02:59 PM

The put-downs have to do with the person who is spewing out the negative stuff, not the target of their verbal abuse. Psychologists use the term 'projecting'. Keep seeing it as the negative person's self and not yourself, and there is your forcefield of protection. One way to deal with it on the spot might be to help that person see their own better self, such as, "Cmon, you're above that kind of talk. Or, question their words - What do you mean? while not directly responding to the words. Donot engage.
Be a gentle, neutral target and let those words bounce right back.

10-09-2008, 02:59 PM	#4 (permalink)
Patty Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Northeastern U.S. suburb. Posts: 30	Listen to your instincts....seems like you already are! The put-downs have to do with the person who is spewing out the negative stuff, not the target of their verbal abuse. Psychologists use the term 'projecting'. Keep seeing it as the negative person's self and not yourself, and there is your forcefield of protection. One way to deal with it on the spot might be to help that person see their own better self, such as, "Cmon, you're above that kind of talk. Or, question their words - What do you mean? while not directly responding to the words. Donot engage. Be a gentle, neutral target and let those words bounce right back.