Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - limiting beliefs arising from lack of romantic/sexual experience

striving4peace · 10-09-2008, 08:44 AM

I'm very very similar to cheech or at least i was in terms of my thinking. And i'm now 29.
I'm doing much better in terms of my emotional handling of the situation.

1) my ego dictates that I should have had sex by a certain age, and X amount of sex to be complete / a real man / attractive / living a meaningful life / healthy / normal. Finding peace internally means taking the ego bull by the horns, changing my perceptions.
2) sexual urges is just another hunger that arises because of our genetic coding for survival. except a lot of meaning is attached by the media / society. nobody gets kudos for eating a lot or eating awesome food, but it's just as addictive or more. Controlling that hunger or having stayed hungry due to other factors such as not yet overcoming poor body image is not shameful or a poor reflection of a person's self worth.
3) sex CAN become meaningful with intimacy / love but it depends on how you see it and also - you need the right partner. However waiting for that partner is not a bad / stupid thing to do, even if you're being picky or unlucky and end up waiting. Not succumbing to temptation to give up the search for the right partner and indulging in casual sex as a form of gratification - is a mark of fortitude, clear thinking and self control - and a step in the direction of what you want, and now what you don't want.
4) I have not been stupid, scared or unlucky to be here today: I have been smart, brave and lucky - just considered from another point of view.

10-09-2008, 08:44 AM	#11 (permalink)
striving4peace Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 194	I'm very very similar to cheech or at least i was in terms of my thinking. And i'm now 29. I'm doing much better in terms of my emotional handling of the situation. 1) my ego dictates that I should have had sex by a certain age, and X amount of sex to be complete / a real man / attractive / living a meaningful life / healthy / normal. Finding peace internally means taking the ego bull by the horns, changing my perceptions. 2) sexual urges is just another hunger that arises because of our genetic coding for survival. except a lot of meaning is attached by the media / society. nobody gets kudos for eating a lot or eating awesome food, but it's just as addictive or more. Controlling that hunger or having stayed hungry due to other factors such as not yet overcoming poor body image is not shameful or a poor reflection of a person's self worth. 3) sex CAN become meaningful with intimacy / love but it depends on how you see it and also - you need the right partner. However waiting for that partner is not a bad / stupid thing to do, even if you're being picky or unlucky and end up waiting. Not succumbing to temptation to give up the search for the right partner and indulging in casual sex as a form of gratification - is a mark of fortitude, clear thinking and self control - and a step in the direction of what you want, and now what you don't want. 4) I have not been stupid, scared or unlucky to be here today: I have been smart, brave and lucky - just considered from another point of view.