I've got a lot going on in my mind (the effects of not having a job). Some things in particular have been bugging me so I'm going to put them out there to see if anyone has an opinion or advice that could help.
1) Sometimes I feel invisible. I notice people all around me making connections, flirting, talking to strangers. And most of the time I feel very left out of that scene. I feel like I'm invisible...on the outside of reality more as an observer than an active participant. When I do try to interact with people it sometimes seems like I'm a nuisance to them. What's that about?
2) How do you know whether you're making the right decision? I'm unemployed at the moment -- and not in a "good way" -- and I've got a job offer. The only problem is that it's at a Christian school. I feel it would be dishonest to take it considering I'm not deeply religious anymore (one of the requirements of the job), but at the same time I could do the job with my hands tied behind my back. I have the qualifications and I really need the money.
3) How do you separate what you see happening all around you from your own life? I observe a lot of people who are dishonest in their relationships -- lots of "cheating" -- and it's sometimes a struggle not to compare and wonder if maybe I've had the wool pulled over my eyes as well. Not sure if that makes sense. I'm not really scared of being in the same position because I know that whatever happens I'm safe and that I can learn and grow in all situations, but always feel compelled to compare and it's becoming a problem.
All this is just coming out as I think of it so it could probably be figured out on my own, but what the hell. I haven't smoked in a couple of weeks (
Dan) since I'm job hunting and I've got my mind running kinda wild.