[ns123]

To me, when I say someone is selfish it means they just take take take. Relationships (even non romantic ones) should be mutually beneficial. You should enjoy each other's company. You should help support one another. It's not lop sided where one person takes takes takes while the other person gives gives gives until they have nothing left.

I mean, yes, there is unconditional love. But let's face it, who wants to be around someone who just takes and takes and never supports you and always is "truthful" but in a way that makes you feel like crap? That is not a friendship I want to be in.

I'm not saying the OP is like that. So I'm just really replying if the selfish person I know in my life were to ask this question of me.

What can be done about the selfishness?
1. start giving back into your friendship. Do something for the other person, without expecting anything back.
2. apologize. Hey, thanks for putting up with my selfishness. And I'm sorry I was like that. I've decided to work on being less selfish and to step into having greater balance in my life.
3. choose to be more supportive in every moment of your life. Instead of taking, give. (and I don't mean in dollars, I mean emotionally)
4. When you tell the truth (and sometimes the truth hurts), do it gently. You can be truthful and gentle/loving at the same time. You don't have to be a jerk to be honest. (not to say that you are, just a hypothetical)

How can you be more supportive of your friends? Decide to be. I can't come up with any specific examples off the top of my head, but if you want examples, tell me what you've done that was selfish and maybe I can help you come up with a better plan to act differently next time.

That's what I would like to see in the selfish people around me. Not that they give give give to me... but that it's more balanced.