--trying to find things I can make myself eat
--you can't force yourself to take another bite?
--The thought of something like a raw green pepper is making me really unhappy.
--I'm literally feeling sick when I think about more oranges or grapes.
--I'm also getting really sick of water.
--I am forcing myself to eat the quantity I need
--I'm hungry, but I can't seem to force myself to eat anything (at least nonthing raw)
funchy, why are you doing this to yourself? Have you inquired? Why turn food into a distracting, painful fetish? It's only lunch, for God's sake. Eat, enjoy, relax. Are you using food as a way to express some strange mental disorder?
You need to read the articles from this page:
The Psychology of Idealistic Diets
The Psychology of Idealistic Diets
Orthorexia Nervosa: Obsession with Dietary Purity as an Eating Disorder
"Why do some people become so enamored of a dietary ideal that they throw common sense to the winds, react in hostile or hateful fashion to questions and challenges, and persist on a diet even in situations where their health begins to fail?"
"Obsession with dietary perfection can sometimes do more harm than good, says a physician in alternative medicine (and one who has been there). Originally published in the October 1997 issue of Yoga Journal, and reprinted here by permission of the author, this piece coins the term "orthorexia nervosa" in describing a novel eating disorder of recent years: extreme fixation on eating proper food that becomes pathological."