Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - How do I leave? Should I leave? I am confused....:S

DeRocky · 10-08-2008, 04:05 AM

Hey there!

I wanted to let you know that I read your situation and empathized with it, but I didn't feel inclined to respond to it because you seem fairly clear about the problems and there's very little anyone here could probably say to help you that you don't already know.

That may be why others haven't chimed in very much.

As with every relationship issue there is really only one potential 'magic bullet' -- he has to understand fully how you feel (and you have to understand how he feels) and meet it with love and caring.

But from the sound of your story, communication of this kind has already deterioriated to some degree. And for that reason, it looks bleak. Just guessing from your story if you sat him down and tried to tell him these things he'd have little room to hear them (and I'm not pointing fingers, I'm just rendering the situation as I heard it from you).

The only suggestion I would have is to try to communicate these things to him -- even if you have to make desperate attempts to do so. After all, if he accepts them and listens -- you both have a shot at rebuilding the relationship. And if he shuts you down and rejects communication --- that's valuable too in the long run (but very scary) because it tells you that geniune caring (love) isn't present anymore.

Finally, you may consider couple's therapy?

10-08-2008, 04:05 AM	#5 (permalink)
DeRocky Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 18	listening... Hey there! I wanted to let you know that I read your situation and empathized with it, but I didn't feel inclined to respond to it because you seem fairly clear about the problems and there's very little anyone here could probably say to help you that you don't already know. That may be why others haven't chimed in very much. As with every relationship issue there is really only one potential 'magic bullet' -- he has to understand fully how you feel (and you have to understand how he feels) and meet it with love and caring. But from the sound of your story, communication of this kind has already deterioriated to some degree. And for that reason, it looks bleak. Just guessing from your story if you sat him down and tried to tell him these things he'd have little room to hear them (and I'm not pointing fingers, I'm just rendering the situation as I heard it from you). The only suggestion I would have is to try to communicate these things to him -- even if you have to make desperate attempts to do so. After all, if he accepts them and listens -- you both have a shot at rebuilding the relationship. And if he shuts you down and rejects communication --- that's valuable too in the long run (but very scary) because it tells you that geniune caring (love) isn't present anymore. Finally, you may consider couple's therapy?