Oy - Just the title reminded me of my ex-husband! I used to call him Eeyore - he could sound exactly like him!
I knew his personality; I knew he was basically unhappy. (And it's funny, he wakes up outdoors, as well!) When we first got together, and after we'd been married a while, I realized exactly what Angela was saying - I really didn't need him to be on board with being happy, I could focus on what brought me to life. A quote I would tell myself was, "Those who are saying it can't be done shouldn't interrupt those who are doing it." I tried to see where he was mirroring for me, but wasn't really able to at that time. We were mostly happy together - but over time, I saw that I was dreaming less, reaching for less. It's one of the main reasons we separated - it was wearing me down, being married to someone like that!
A couple weekends ago, at a retreat, we did an exercise where we planned a party. We got in groups of two, and one person was to be the idea person, and the other person was to be the "yes, but" person. For every idea - "Let's have cake!" the person had to give a yes, but: "Yes, but frosting can be messy." It really shut people down! They wanted to stop giving ideas, because what was the point? Then we did it again, with the second person answering, "Yes, and": "Let's have cake!" "Yes, and everyone can help decorate it!" The energy shift was incredible.
I realized after that, that my ex was a "yes, but" kinda guy! And I can now see where he's mirroring that for me - but I still don't want to be married to him!
That exercise is also in
Improv Wisdom. The author of that book was attending the retreat, as well - what a gift to meet her!