Okay. Here's the situation (we are all older than 18, just so you know)...
There's a girl (I'll call her Jill) who I've met a couple of times in the past through a couple of friends. In the past, I've been in a serious relationship, but that ended about two months ago. We hung out again recently, again with the same friends, and this time I think I got some fairly strong (positive) signals from her. She knew I wasn't in a relationship anymore, but she also knew I was leaving for college in a little more than two weeks. Right now I have 14 days left until I leave.
During that time we hung out, she mentioned to us (me and the two friends) that she was thinking of "just getting drunk and getting it over with". She was talking about losing her virginity. The two friends didn't think very highly of that, but didn't say so to her. I mentioned that I didn't think it was a very good idea to her, but we dropped it quickly. I've been thinking about it, and I want to say two different things to her: 1. No! Wait until it's special. 2. No! Wait until I have a day off, and forget the alcohol.
I want to say that I feel it's a lost cause to tell her to wait until it's special, but I know part of the reason I say that is because I just want her to myself.
I'm writing a note to her. I'm going to send it to her in cell phone texts, because I only have her phone number. And I'd rather not say it in person or over the phone, because I don't want to pressure her to answer, and I want her to be able to stop listening if she wants to without having to tell me to stop.
So I'm posting the note as it is so far, because I think that the people here have very good and very different opinions, and anything I hear here will probably help me out. Notes to you guys will be in [brackets].
Quote:
I'm sending you this all in a text so you don't have to reply if you don't want to (yet or at all), and so I can express myself exactly as I want. I've been thinking about how you said you kind of wanted to get drunk and lose your virginity to someone... would you really want to do that drunk, and with someone you don't even know? A part of me wants to say, wait until it's special. But to be honest, the point of this message is this: I was wondering if maybe you could forget the drinking part and do that with me. I like you, and I think you're *really* hot. And I think we could have fun.
Before I continue, I want you to know that you don't have to answer now; if your answer is no, I don't need an explanation; And if you just don't respond to this that's fine, and I'll just assume it's a no. And finally, if it is a no, I promise I won't ask again and it won't be weird if we hang out again before I leave. If you ignore the next few texts out of disgust, i'd completely understand. Now, having said that...
I think we could have a lot of fun together--whether it's just one night, more than that, or less than that. This is going to sound cocky, but I think I'd probably be better than the average guy for what you were talking about. I'm not talking in terms of skill (I'd have a biased opinion on that); I'm talking more about the fact that I'm going to actually care whether you are having a good time. If you wanted to stop, I'd stop. If you said yes then decided you had to change your mind, I'd be fine with that, and not be bitter. Primarily we'd have fun, and only if we were having fun would we have sex. It would be such a shame for *anyone's* first time to be treated like a chore or a goal.
I'm really worried you are horrified at how blunt I'm being. But I think it's worth the risk. Worst case scenario is we don't talk for the remainder of the time I'm here, I leave for college, and soon these texts won't matter to either of us anymore. And hey, in the end, you still know I thought you were attractive. Best case scenario: we have some fun. You mentioned you were playful, and so am I. We don't have to plan to have sex; we could just plan to hang out in a private place, and whatever happens, happens. We could rent some movies, if you wanted. It would be a huge lie if I said I wouldn't be hoping for sex, but even if I leave with nothing more than a massage, I'd be happy. [We gave each other massages (with shirts off) that time we hung out. I'm sure she liked it and I know I did]
I guess that's all I have to say, now that the size of this message is enough for an email. Again--if you say no (either by saying no or never mentioning this), that's fine. I don't need an explanation unless you want to give one. And I promise it won't be awkward if we hang out, whatever your answer is. And if your answer is yes--I don't think you'll regret it.
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So, that's that. I'm not sure what kind of responses to expect, but the more the merrier.