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Originally Posted by mattpd  This is mainly in reference to women, but its still important for men. A common trend is that women will mostly post about relationship issues, and men about dating issues. |
One reason for that is that men and women tend to have a different perspective and language on "relationship," I think. Women tend to feel like they are "in a relationship" as soon as they begin relating to someone, romantically or not, whether it's with a man, woman, or child; men, I think, hear the word "relationship" as "committed monogamy." Being related and being in a committed monogamous relationship are two entirely different things.
Sometimes women mix them up, yes -- and hope and fool themselves into thinking they're in a committed monogamous relationship when what they're really doing is relating. And sometimes men mix them up, too -- and think they're relating just because they're in committed and monogamous. And the vice-versa happens, too!
I've seen plenty of men agonize over whether or not to "cut their losses" and end an LLTMBR that's not working, just as women do. That oxytocin thing Holistic Star mentioned (addictive love) and also limiting self-beliefs ("I'll never have sex again!" "(S)he is the only person who could ever understand or love me!") often override our innate sense that we are infinitely powerful, abundant, and joyful. Oops!
All that said, I think women AND men would have much more love, freedom, and joy in their love lives if they let go of what we've been taught so strenuously: that romantic relationships are there to make you happy, satisfied and fulfilled; and you can't be happy, satisfied, or fulfilled until you're in one. That's a stinky load of poo.
Date for fun! Not to *have* a relationship. Even if you think you *have* a relationship, you don't really *have* a relationship.