I had an awesome night last night. My friend had a birthday party, a murder mystery night, set in 1924. I only found out about it thursday, two days before the party, and still managed to get a pretty good costume together, grey wool suit with pin striped shirt and a tie that fit the time, but I didn't manage to get the Fedora.
Why did it go so awesome for me? Because I put some social skills to use that really work.
I didn't care about the outcome, I was just there to have some fun. This made a huge difference, there were improvised jokes flying around the whole night, everyone had heaps of fun and even one of the guests couldn't stop laughing at several points. It was great.
I was being authentic. I was playing a role, but I played it authentically. I stopped caring about how good I was looking and just worked on being as authentic as possible. When I stopped worrying about looking good, I actually looked good, and enjoyed myself a lot more.
It was all about someone else. Because it was another persons birthday party, all the focus was on them, but more than that, everyone gave up their own focus for a night. Everyone was more relaxed and easy going, while the birthday girl had a great time being the centre of attention. Plus putting your focus on someone else makes you feel more at ease and makes them feel special.
I's a bit egotistical to say that one person at a party can influence the whole social atmosphere, but in a way it can. It's infectious and spreads. More importantly though, it directly influences your experience of the social event. Improving your social skills directly improves your experience.
I think the next social skill to work on is being engaging. I'm good at it, but I could be great.
So everyone, what are some social skills you are good at? What great nights have you had recently? and where could you improve?