Quote:
Originally Posted by Dharma  ellie,
I don't think it is about your lesbian friend. I think the problem is your resistance to having resistance to accepting your lesbian friend. (that clear?)
I think you think non-acceptance of someone is wrong. And you won't let the feeling be at peace inside you. You're not a good person if you can't accept your friend as a lesbian... blah blah blah
That might be the undercurrent, and you're resisting the undercurrent. And so that feeling will stay until you do not resist it.
Be ok with having resistance to your friend being a lesbian. Explore the feeling fully. Feel it in your gut. Let go of any judgement for having such thoughts and just be with your experience of resisting another person's life. It will pass if you accept it without judgement. |
Yes I think this reply resonates with me the most. So thank you.
No I don't think it's an emotional attachment either, because I do this with other gay people, men and woman.
I guess it's me trying to understand why I can't just accept someone for who they are, but yes I need to accept that I am allow to have these feelings and explore them.
I guess also I find with a lot of gay people that they're really into their scene. Like it's not like " hey I have changed my sexual preference, but I have to be a hardcore gay and hang out only with gays, I have to talk about cute, sexy boys if I am gay man etc". This is just something I am not into in a hetrosexual world either. I am conservative, whereas a lot of gay people seem to be really open in their talk about their world and sexuality in general. I think that's what intimidates me, just this freedom in their sexuality and they don't seem to factor in how people who are not part of their world, don't really want to hear about all the details.
Like I remember I used to have this gay boss, really nice guy...but he would always talk about getting layed with me, or showing his new outfit for mardigrass, and I was thinking "please, don't go there!".