You need to figure out for yourself what you're doing on the first date or two to put them off. I honestly don't think we can tell from posted information, although it is possible that being timid and lacking social confidence is a contributing factor.
I have never followed the above advice of being "dominant or appearing bossy" with women, and I have never had a problem attracting them. This is not my style at all and IMO may be a valid method for some, but is definitely not necessary.
For me I think the following character traits seem to be what's attracted people to me:
- strong self-confidence and the ability to speak clearly and appear decisive.
- excellent listening skills and a genuine interest in getting to know the person I'm with. Try just enjoying the person's company, learning about THEM, and not thinking about the person in terms of long-term potential.
I also think it is unnecessary to take up hobbies that make you "appear interesting" such as rock climbing. Unless you actually want to and enjoy rock climbing, why would you do it. Seems dumb and fake.
Be yourself, have confidence, make moves when you feel it's right (don't be a wimp), etc. Don't think about your past failures in dating. Just go out there and think of the date as what it is, ie: an opportunity to get to know someone new without specific future expectations or "returns on your invested time"
Get the money ideas out of your head completely. If you don't look like you just woke up from a 10 hour sleep in the subway you'll be fine.
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