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Now, loud clubs where nobody can talk, or bars where the only activity is to consume cocktail after cocktail have become intolerable for me.
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I think you have your mindset wrong regarding bars and clubs. I don't drink either when I go to a bar or club but I still have an amazing time regardless. You can easily talk in a bar or club, alcohol has nothing to do with it.
2. If you don't want to make others uncomfortable do this. Get a glass of water with ice, maybe a slice of lime on the side. Anyone who sees you with that will think you have a drink in your hand.