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ellie · 10-03-2008, 08:51 AM

Hi I thought I would be honest here, I have this friend that I was very close to growing up, she's really was like my big sister. I spent a lot of time with her and her family. I would eat, sleep and play there nearly every second night - ha ha!

After a while we lost touch because of me falling out of my religion and my friend being still heavily involved in it.

A number of years later I found out that she had "come out", which was a huge shock to me. Although she was a real tomboy It never entered my mind EVER that she would have lesbian tendencies.

Anyway, we ended up bumping into each other a few years back and ocassionaly keep in contact. Now I am trying so hard to just fully accept her new life, but I have to admit it is a bit intimidating for me. If I am being honest I still can't quite understand the idea of being gay, as it's so foreign in understanding to me. I don't want feel this way, I want to just be "cool" with it, but I just find it hard to comfortable around her friends.

I always sense there is there is this us and you mentality around gays and same for straight people. I wish I could kind of tell her that I still find it hard to understand and that I still know she's the same person, it's just that I don't know how to stop feeling that "your different". I think I might also be intimidated because she does really hang around a gay crowd and they just seem like to have a completely different way of living/thinking. I don't know....

I think she thinks I am completely cool with it all and that's maybe because I am trying to be cool with it, but really I'm not.

What's your thoughts, suggestion to help me not even thinking about our differences?

10-03-2008, 08:51 AM	#1 (permalink)
ellie Family Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 2,432	How do accept my friend being a lesbian? Hi I thought I would be honest here, I have this friend that I was very close to growing up, she's really was like my big sister. I spent a lot of time with her and her family. I would eat, sleep and play there nearly every second night - ha ha! After a while we lost touch because of me falling out of my religion and my friend being still heavily involved in it. A number of years later I found out that she had "come out", which was a huge shock to me. Although she was a real tomboy It never entered my mind EVER that she would have lesbian tendencies. Anyway, we ended up bumping into each other a few years back and ocassionaly keep in contact. Now I am trying so hard to just fully accept her new life, but I have to admit it is a bit intimidating for me. If I am being honest I still can't quite understand the idea of being gay, as it's so foreign in understanding to me. I don't want feel this way, I want to just be "cool" with it, but I just find it hard to comfortable around her friends. I always sense there is there is this us and you mentality around gays and same for straight people. I wish I could kind of tell her that I still find it hard to understand and that I still know she's the same person, it's just that I don't know how to stop feeling that "your different". I think I might also be intimidated because she does really hang around a gay crowd and they just seem like to have a completely different way of living/thinking. I don't know.... I think she thinks I am completely cool with it all and that's maybe because I am trying to be cool with it, but really I'm not. What's your thoughts, suggestion to help me not even thinking about our differences? Last edited by ellie; 10-03-2008 at 09:14 AM.