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sbdiane · 10-03-2008, 01:32 AM

I'm in a relationship with a man who can best be described as disappointed. He's a very nice man with lots of talents. Most people really like him. He's a natural leader, funny and smart. But he's not happy.

His job sucks, his house takes up all his time fixing and paying for it, he would like to take trips and get outdoors more but turns down opportunities all the time. Being outdoors is the only place I ever see him light up, smile, become his true self. That outdoors guy is who I wanted to be with.

I want to help him but I don't know what to say. I have suggested that we could scale back and live more simply, give up the house, move somewhere cheaper. I have tried to remind him that he has many talents that can be used in all kinds of industries, not just the ones he knows. Nothing cheers him up.

He worries about his health all the time. He takes a lot of prescriptions. I'm sure almost all of them would be unnecessary if he didn't work so hard at that stressful job.

I really want him to be happy, but he doesn't seem to want that for himself. I've been just trying to live my life as happily as I can, doing outdoors things without him, pursuing dreams and goals on my own. I hope some day he will join me in happiness, but without turning all codependent, I have no idea what to do. How can I help him?

10-03-2008, 01:32 AM	#1 (permalink)
sbdiane Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 300	Disappointed man I'm in a relationship with a man who can best be described as disappointed. He's a very nice man with lots of talents. Most people really like him. He's a natural leader, funny and smart. But he's not happy. His job sucks, his house takes up all his time fixing and paying for it, he would like to take trips and get outdoors more but turns down opportunities all the time. Being outdoors is the only place I ever see him light up, smile, become his true self. That outdoors guy is who I wanted to be with. I want to help him but I don't know what to say. I have suggested that we could scale back and live more simply, give up the house, move somewhere cheaper. I have tried to remind him that he has many talents that can be used in all kinds of industries, not just the ones he knows. Nothing cheers him up. He worries about his health all the time. He takes a lot of prescriptions. I'm sure almost all of them would be unnecessary if he didn't work so hard at that stressful job. I really want him to be happy, but he doesn't seem to want that for himself. I've been just trying to live my life as happily as I can, doing outdoors things without him, pursuing dreams and goals on my own. I hope some day he will join me in happiness, but without turning all codependent, I have no idea what to do. How can I help him?