Why do you insist that her having a friend coming to visit and not telling you about it is a "betrayal"? She does not owe you that information, and unless you and she have agreed to an exclusive relationship, it's not your concern. She's not betraying you unless you create it as betrayal. You could also create it in your life as this woman you like and admire taking her own next right actions, and having appropriate boundaries in her life.
Since this bugs you, it might be worth looking at how you're using her as a mirror. What are you being withholding or betrayish about? In what ways are you not trusting yourself?
If you like this woman and want to have a loving relationship, romantic or platonic, don't hold her hostage to your own issues. Free her, and mostly yourself, from the tyranny of beliefs that tie a knot in the hose of your generosity. Be welcoming, warm arms for her to walk into. Or if you're not willing to do that, then let her go with love.
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