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Would you really approach a female stranger and compliment her that her boobs are large solely for the fun of the moment? (yes this is an extreme example.)
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That is extreme....so extreme only a fool would do it. Run...run fast...
That's the beuty of complimenting her shoes. Or her hair. We get to "be men" by
openly admitting that we find physical beauty attractive, and that you've got that beauty, yet we don't go all sexual with it. (some guys do, but it don't work out too good!)
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But how is complimenting a girl's physical feature not an attempt to impress her?
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To me, NOT complimenting a girl's physical features would be an attempt to impress. Becasue I would have to be suppressing my natural thoughts. Why would I want to be artificial? To impress. But to be real, to be myself, is not an attempt to impress, but more of "putting myself out there" and see if you like it.
You seem to have a bit of an attitude that the men have to win you over. You are asking for fakeness. If I were a single man, that attitude would make ME run for the hills. (I'm not trying to be mean, just making a point) Someone that doesn't like how I am is not someone I want to be in a relationship with, obviously. But I should unveil "how I am" in doses to match the level that the relationship has grown to. As long as those doses are real, not fake, it's great! But a stranger on a bus shouldn't be touching you.
As for the guy you encountered, did you enjoy the entire conversation (minus the touching)? If, instead of actually making contact with your arm, he just pointed, would that have changed the feel you got from it?
When strangers begin to interact, there is a line that shouldn't be crossed. WHere that line is is dependant on the individuals and the situation. It sounds like this guy crossed your line when he touched you. That changed him from charming to creepy. I would suggest that it is better to not get too close to the line for fear of crossing it. The damage of crossing it far outweighs the benefits of getting close to it without crossing it. That guy crossed it.
BUT, if he had not touched you, but instead asked if you would like to meet him at a club for drinks with friends Friday night, you might have gone with some friends. During that evening, he might have touched your arm and that wouldn't have crossed the line. It's all relative to the comfort level you have with him. Like you said, it takes some people time to get that comfort level. A total stranger on a bus shouldn't be touching you. A 2nd date, though, should touch you before the evening is through. If that's creepy, then don't go on the 3rd date.
If you don't mind me asking, how old were you when this bus ride happened? How old was he? Did
he guide the conversation to get to that point? Or did the conversation go there by chance? It may have been creepy for a lot of other reasons altogether...When your mind tells you he's creepy it's best to listen! But don't let that stop you from stepping on the dance floor.