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harmonica · 10-02-2008, 02:55 PM

So I've been pursuing a long-distance relationship with a girl who lives across the country. Things started off in the town where we attended college together, where I currently live. In the past few weeks we've been talking on the phone pretty much nightly, telling each other that we like each other, can't wait to see each other, etc. She's scheduled to visit me this weekend.

Problem is, she's recently got out of a long-term (one-year+) relationship with another student from our college. Last night I learned that they had started talking again about a week ago and that he's planning on visiting her next weekend.

This is my dilemma:
I feel rather hurt and betrayed by her. Not so much by the fact that she wants to talk about things with her ex, but more so by the fact that she didn't tell me. I really like this girl and really trust her but feel that my trust has been violated.

I feel like I have two choices:

1. Leave the invitation open for her to visit this weekend. We could talk things out and I would know where she and I stood exactly. We could also talk about any expectations either of us has for the other.

2. Tell her not to come. She would be free to figure out where she is with her ex and decide if she wants to get together with me at a later date. At the same time, I would be free to pursue other girls while she's figuring stuff out.

Thank you for reading and for your support. I would be tremendously appreciative for any thoughts or advice you would be willing to share.

10-02-2008, 02:55 PM	#1 (permalink)
harmonica Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 7	Should I give her a second chance? So I've been pursuing a long-distance relationship with a girl who lives across the country. Things started off in the town where we attended college together, where I currently live. In the past few weeks we've been talking on the phone pretty much nightly, telling each other that we like each other, can't wait to see each other, etc. She's scheduled to visit me this weekend. Problem is, she's recently got out of a long-term (one-year+) relationship with another student from our college. Last night I learned that they had started talking again about a week ago and that he's planning on visiting her next weekend. This is my dilemma: I feel rather hurt and betrayed by her. Not so much by the fact that she wants to talk about things with her ex, but more so by the fact that she didn't tell me. I really like this girl and really trust her but feel that my trust has been violated. I feel like I have two choices: 1. Leave the invitation open for her to visit this weekend. We could talk things out and I would know where she and I stood exactly. We could also talk about any expectations either of us has for the other. 2. Tell her not to come. She would be free to figure out where she is with her ex and decide if she wants to get together with me at a later date. At the same time, I would be free to pursue other girls while she's figuring stuff out. Thank you for reading and for your support. I would be tremendously appreciative for any thoughts or advice you would be willing to share.