Quote:
Originally Posted by Plato  Hell yeah, why not?!
A sticking point I tend to run into is becoming a bit stifled around some people. I can never tell when it might happen, though to be fair it's becoming rarer. How would you go about overcoming it? |
Thanks Plato, glad to have you on board.
If this happens just do this while in the middle of the conversation; think to yourself that you're really enjoying what this person has to talk to you about and that you enjoy their company. As you look all interested (which you'll become) the person on the receiving end will pick up this vibe, the difference in your posture, head, etc... and start to talk more. Once they start talking it'll give you a chance to speak on one of the things they bring up.
Also, a REALLY fast way to get over this is to to start approaching women you don't know. Use the script I said above about getting their number in 1 minute, add in your own lines, and think of responses in advance you will say to what they say. By the third or fifth woman you talk to, you won't be so self-conscious. Speaking to groups of people, picking up women individually and so on is a SKILL. Like anything else it takes practice. The more you practice the better you'll get.
I would also recommend doing some daily affirmations to change your self-talk:
I interact great with people
I enjoy talking with people and they enjoy talking with me
I have a great sense of humor
I am fun to be around
and so on. This will change your internal self-talk to one that is more positive and have you more at ease in future situations which will make you more confident.
Two last things:
1) After every group interaction that didn't go as well as you would like. Ask yourself, "what should I have done differently?" and visualize in your mind you doing the thing you should have done. The next time a similar situation comes up, you'll be more apt to take the new response as you have already rehearsed it in your head.
2) Make sure to be patient with yourself. EVERY guy, I don't care who he is, still sometimes feels that fear with women. It's normal, just accept it as there and push past it.
I hope that helps!