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MissK · 10-01-2008, 09:07 PM

Thanks for the replies guys.

I think the love and commitment is wonderful. I WAS just in a place trying to figure out how do you know if its worth ending. It gets tough but if you make a lifelong commitment, when its tough or unhappy, when does one know to keep trying until its better because we still love each other and want to be together despite everything coming up versus this isn't worth it because there is other love in the world? Do you put timeline on it in marriage? If we are not happier by 6 months we end? Or maybe one year? 2?

ANYWAY that WAS my dilemma. I was really questioning my reasons and commitment in my relationship. Thats why i asked the specific question why do people get married, to remind myself why it was or wasn't worth it from others perspective. It was exactly what i needed. Reading your responses and Steve's book last night really gave me fresh perspective of what i want to do. In the book, Steve said he and Erin went through many times they thought it really wouldn't work. But what truly helped was my looking at the situation straight in the eye with truth.

Many times Steve asks 'is this me? does this path have heart?' Its amazing how much of my life i had to face and decide to abandon and am now working on setting on my true path- the one with heart that i really want, not what i settled for.

When it came to my relationship i was so scared to face it because i didn't want to ask and my answer would be to end it. I had come to a place of doubting us and wondering whether it would truly serve me to end it. Scared as i was, i was ready to accept the truth nonetheless. i asked myself honestly if it still had heart, if this was what i wanted, regardless of the work my silly thoughts kept raising before me and i had the clearest, most resolute YES in my spirit. No doubt. In my clarity and looking with truth, power and love, without walls and defense, i know exactly what we need to do to save it.

The solutions were right there in front of me but i never let them in. Too busy trying to protect myself from pain to evaluate the situation clearly. Both of our authentic selves had checked out long ago and we have been dealing with our defensive untrue selves. As soon as i let my authentic vulnerable self show to him, his wall was absolutely demolished also. I am happier than ever and cant wait to see him tonight. We spoke with lots of apologies this morning and tonight is going to be the first of our weekly nothing but time together Wednesday night, which we also instituted this morning. Thanks everyone!!

10-01-2008, 09:07 PM	#20 (permalink)
MissK Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 41	Thanks for the replies guys. I think the love and commitment is wonderful. I WAS just in a place trying to figure out how do you know if its worth ending. It gets tough but if you make a lifelong commitment, when its tough or unhappy, when does one know to keep trying until its better because we still love each other and want to be together despite everything coming up versus this isn't worth it because there is other love in the world? Do you put timeline on it in marriage? If we are not happier by 6 months we end? Or maybe one year? 2? ANYWAY that WAS my dilemma. I was really questioning my reasons and commitment in my relationship. Thats why i asked the specific question why do people get married, to remind myself why it was or wasn't worth it from others perspective. It was exactly what i needed. Reading your responses and Steve's book last night really gave me fresh perspective of what i want to do. In the book, Steve said he and Erin went through many times they thought it really wouldn't work. But what truly helped was my looking at the situation straight in the eye with truth. Many times Steve asks 'is this me? does this path have heart?' Its amazing how much of my life i had to face and decide to abandon and am now working on setting on my true path- the one with heart that i really want, not what i settled for. When it came to my relationship i was so scared to face it because i didn't want to ask and my answer would be to end it. I had come to a place of doubting us and wondering whether it would truly serve me to end it. Scared as i was, i was ready to accept the truth nonetheless. i asked myself honestly if it still had heart, if this was what i wanted, regardless of the work my silly thoughts kept raising before me and i had the clearest, most resolute YES in my spirit. No doubt. In my clarity and looking with truth, power and love, without walls and defense, i know exactly what we need to do to save it. The solutions were right there in front of me but i never let them in. Too busy trying to protect myself from pain to evaluate the situation clearly. Both of our authentic selves had checked out long ago and we have been dealing with our defensive untrue selves. As soon as i let my authentic vulnerable self show to him, his wall was absolutely demolished also. I am happier than ever and cant wait to see him tonight. We spoke with lots of apologies this morning and tonight is going to be the first of our weekly nothing but time together Wednesday night, which we also instituted this morning. Thanks everyone!! Last edited by MissK; 10-01-2008 at 09:15 PM.