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Originally Posted by 172  I have been in an absolutely amazing relationship with someone whom I considered my best friend for the past three years. He's been nothing but wonderful to me. Authentic through and through and our love life has been consistently passionate and exciting. We have known each other as friends and acquaintences for 15 years and only got together as a couple in the past 3. We've had tremendous chemistry from day one and it has never waned. The relationship has been a serious source of joy for us both and we've both grown tremendously as a result of it.
....and yet....last night I discovered that he's been cheating.
So....I'm still processing everything. I haven't mentioned it. I need time. I'm pretty numb. My question is this....and this is because of the deep level of trust that I held for him....I need to know....are all men prone to cheat? And by that, I mean tempted or perhaps weaker when it comes to resisting the urge? Or maybe prone to cheat at least once? Tell me about monogamy, infidelity, and men. Are there any truly, TRULY monogamous men out there? |
I read that when women ovulate, the urge to find another mate and have sex is higher in women. Does that mean that all women cheat to have babies? No, I'm sure it doesn't but it's an instinct that has been around since human were living in caves and wearing animal skins.
Not all men are prone to cheating. Not all women are prone to cheating.
We're all unique individuals, when you say are all men prone to cheating, it's a stereotype and a hurtful one at that. I know you didn't mean it like that but that's how it came out.
If your mate is cheating on you, confront him and find out why. You would be surprised but he might actually be honest with you if you don't confront him by throwing stuff at him and chasing him around with a butcher's knife. Maybe the relationship wasn't that great for him as it was for you. You're only putting forth your viewpoint on the relationship - you thought it was great, it was wonderful but that only means that your needs were being taken care of. If he is cheating it's quite possibly things weren't that great from his point of view. Does that justify his cheating? NO. Nothing justifies cheating (regardless if a man or woman does it). When you say that a person cheats because of this or that, that person is using something else as a crutch for his actions instead of saying that he is in control of his actions & urges.
Talk to him, find out why he cheated and pursue the answer because it's fair to you to know why he did so that you can decide whether or not the relationship is salvageable or worth fixing.
p.s. Not ALL men cheat.... and from what I hear, not ALL women cheat either.