[Zwynd]

Moderators, before you just rush this thread off to the Psychic forum please note that I'm not speaking specifically on dreams but rather an awareness of reality with the metaphor of one. I feel this post is good in the Awareness forum.

And that starts it off...

I've always loved Lucid Dreaming. I like the thought that I can fly or be whatever I want. I've enjoyed seeing a monstrous creature running at me suddenly *poof!* away or turn into a favorite dessert.

I've spent years trying to figure out the connection between Lucid Dreaming and reality. I've said to myself many times that reality "is only a dream." I knew it deep down but I couldn't quite place how.

This morning I came a little closer to understanding that connection.

Most of us have a clearly defined line between Lucid Dreaming and Reality yet we can also understand that our dreams and our awareness of either state are still contained within our brains.

With me so far?

Remember that feeling when you're just starting to become Lucid in a Dream? You can feel the awareness pouring in and everything becomes sharper, clear and full of vibrancy/life. If you Lucid Dream a lot you also know the feeling when it is just starting to appear and just starting to slip away. In my case, it feels like this fluffy invisible fog begins thinniing itself [if I'm becoming Lucid] or pouring in from all directions [if I'm losing that state.]

It's almost frustrating when these moments arise because you're really trying to "Hang On!" to Lucidness yet the more you try to, the faster you lose it.

So what does this have to do with reality?

I felt that same feeling this morning. I've felt it briefly before many times as it often comes as a feeling of insight or "Eureka!" when things click and ideas burst forth. But this time it was different...

I was sitting down staring at the corner of my bed after stretching and I said to myself that I wasn't really focused on here. I decided that [for an undetermined amount of time] I'd just let go and be me, here, right now with no thoughts of what I had to do today or anything else.

I began feeling that very same feeling I do when I'm becoming Lucid.

I realized this quickly and at first I wanted to grab at and force it. But then the memory arose that grabbing would only throw me away so I let go of the thought of 'Lucidness' and kept my focus on the present.

Then it clicked. I didn't feel fully Lucid but I felt very much there. Much more than I do normally. I risked looking around my room, keeping that focus of now, to see if anything would change. Then I noticed it. Everything in my room was THERE. It wasn't this smear of something that is usually in my room, in my life. Each THING and no thing there was a symbol, a memory.

And it was all attached to me by emotional/mental tendrils.

I realized that was the exact same feeling in my dreams that often held me down. When we dream, we get caught up in the drama of the dream itself. Someone loses their talking shoe and we spend the next 40 years in the dream swimming under the ocean to find it. Another person from our far away past sits down to have a chat and we sigh and give in because that's what we felt we had to do. And so on.

Being aware of where I was, I saw all these things; pillows, beds, curtains, telephone, etc.. and I recognized the memories and feelings associated with each one. I didn't linger in each one, but it was like each one was screaming out with tendril-like memories.

It wasn't just personal experiences of the past that tied me to them (like remembering where I bought it and how the day was) but it was also the symbol of their use behind them (phones for communication with others in that reality.)

I understood both types of symbols and realized that I didn't have to be attached to them in this reality for me to be alive. I knew that if I wasn't emotionally caught up in what they represented for me, they wouldn't be clinging to me. They were part of my fog that prevented me from Lucidness.

As I stood there, another realization came into my mind...

I didn't know what to do.

Those who start out Lucid Dreaming will often find that at first they can fly and do wonderful things but the more they work on being Lucid the more often they become Lucid yet stand there in their dreams not doing anything. They're so focused on "Lucid" but not WHAT they could do when they get it. They lack the focus, the discipline to use a conscious dreaming to a higher level.

That is where I was in that moment of Reality:

I stood there with the understanding of how I was attached to things, realizing that I was in the very still present moment yet did not have the skill/discipline to go further.

I decided to let go of the awareness I was having for I began feeling an emotional need to stay Lucid. I focused in my mind that what my gut instinct was saying on Dreams vs. Reality over the years was true for me and that to go further in my awareness I had to give myself more discipline in both areas.

With all this said, I will try my utmost to watch my emotional reactions to things as well as work on a better focus for my life. That state of being I felt may not be a true Lucidness by some people's definitions but it most certainly gave me the awareness I needed concerning attachment in how it affects me and others.

And to whomever is reading this, I hope you've found some use in these words. Thank you for your time.