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Originally Posted by driven1  ...Anyhow, it's amazing how well other people, both men and women (but in different ways), respond when you stop making them feel bad about themselves. |
There's not much point in trying to stop making people feel bad about themselves, because you don't make people feel bad about themselves, it's their business to feel bad (or good) about themselves. In fact, talking about what's working in your life, or even bragging about how great your life is with the intention of feeling superior, is a perfect opportunity for others to develop their own self worth. Of course, if you are bragging with the intention of feeling superior, you've got your own self-worth issues to work through, but that's just more opportunity!
If you are in a personal development arena and you find yourself judging someone to be an arrogant jerk or braggart, you are tremendously fortunate! And if you yourself are the Tall Poppy, you are tremendously fortunate, too. And all the other people who are getting value out of what's being said back and forth? Yup, tremendously fortunate, too. You really can't lose.
Positive, negative, who is to be the ultimate judge? Well, you, of course. If your next right action is to write a complaining or plaintive or venting or angry post, to share your misery or dwell on problems and avoid solutions, Go For It! You'll probably get called on it, as has happened often around here and huge breakthroughs have come of it. And some people remain mired in feeling bad. That is absolutely fine.
The idea of "equal time" -- if you write a "negative" post then you must "balance" it with a "positive" one -- this is the Greased Pig Syndrome (GPS): chasing some illusive notion of how you *should* be, at the expense of your authentic self. Feh on the greased pig!