Originally Posted by fellowtraveler  I sometimes hesitate to share, as though if there are too many oberservers, the thing I treasure will vanish like a soap bubble. Like it's something I can only see from the corner of my eye and if I look directly at it, it will go away.
But I cast these out as messages in bottles to be found by the rare one who even cares. Perhaps, then again, many observers may be a good thing - to burn away the sludge and to help make it solid.
This one has to do with my personal reality (as if it could be otherwise!).
Everything points to love. Love points back, and the first node it reaches is service to others.
In the Ra materials, it is implied that this servant role is crucial to the likelihood of one's being able to advance to a "higher" state. And, it seems as though priority of reincarnation is given to those who wish to have one last chance to accumulate the necessary "points", for lack of a better word, in order to advance along with the imminent "harvest".
I've been feeling sorry for myself the past few days. Why, in my relatively advanced years, am I being asked to raise my boy all over again? He's doing very well, but besides living my own life, I have to pay some of his bills, keep track of the hard details of his comings and goings, make sure he fills out the right forms and goes to the right places at the right times, and sometimes he resists. As well, my lovely wife has needed me for such things for over 30 years.
Why can't I go back to sleep? Why won't they leave me alone? I'm no nurse...I cannot heal you! All I want to do is to to smoke a little weed, ride my iron steed, have a little sex, and die in my sleep!
But...in all the years of wandering, wondering...what have I been good for? What is my accomplishment? My purpose? I have done no Great Thing, achieved no Great Learning. I told my confessor, my contemporary, friend and therapist months ago that perhaps this new burden is my purpose. He "hmmm"''d his best hmmm.
In the midst of my angst and anxiety (brief tho fierce) yesterday, I remembered that. And now today I read the teaching of Ra and it makes sense.
If you've read this far, good for you - if it means nothing to you, perhaps you're right. Regardless, herewith I cast it out upon the ocean of Consciousness. Perhaps I myself will find it on a distant shore someday and remember. |