I just read some more of your posts. It seems like you look at happiness as more of a goal to be obtained than something that just is.
There's nothing stopping you right now from being happy right now.
You say that you're a perfectionist. If you think this mindset is what's causing you to continually analyse what's happening in the moment and whether you or not you should do it because it might not align with your future goals, then maybe you could do a 30 day trial of purposely not perfecting things and see if anything changes?
I also saw that you started a 30 day trial of trying new things, how did that go?
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