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LifeWork · 09-27-2008, 01:03 PM

A recurring theme in my life: I attract and feel attracted to "bad girls", who smoke, drink and like to engage in minor power plays and testing. I enjoy the "battle" and feeling of victory and winning them over (assuming they don't like me). I get to see their different sides, especially the fleeting moments vulnerability in them makes me feel attracted on a more than just physical level.

When it's time to "pull the trigger" or get involved so to speak, I tell myself "she's destructive, and will pull me down with her", even though there's no talk of relationships or anything. I actually fear the "power" they seem to wield. I go cold and pretend they don't exist.

So I keep attracting women that I somehow recognize will only bring pain and destruction, but I keep telling myself I deserve better.

I'm aware that this is something I create through elaborate maneuvers, like any other problem, but I have no idea how I can start dissecting this.

I hope someone has similar experiences AND can share how I could overcome this.

09-27-2008, 01:03 PM	#1 (permalink)
LifeWork Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Finland Posts: 30	Avoiding relations A recurring theme in my life: I attract and feel attracted to "bad girls", who smoke, drink and like to engage in minor power plays and testing. I enjoy the "battle" and feeling of victory and winning them over (assuming they don't like me). I get to see their different sides, especially the fleeting moments vulnerability in them makes me feel attracted on a more than just physical level. When it's time to "pull the trigger" or get involved so to speak, I tell myself "she's destructive, and will pull me down with her", even though there's no talk of relationships or anything. I actually fear the "power" they seem to wield. I go cold and pretend they don't exist. So I keep attracting women that I somehow recognize will only bring pain and destruction, but I keep telling myself I deserve better. I'm aware that this is something I create through elaborate maneuvers, like any other problem, but I have no idea how I can start dissecting this. I hope someone has similar experiences AND can share how I could overcome this.