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Originally Posted by The Cloud  I know what you're talking about, as I have the same problem. It's like, even when you're talking about emotions you feel emotionally disconnected with the topic. As if the emotions have nothing to do with you or the person you're talking to.
I think that this is a sign of being disconnected with our own emotions. If we can't connect with ourselves, then how can we expect to connect with other people? As for the solution, I don't know what it could be beyond reconnecting with ourselves, however that may be accomplished. |
I recognize this The Cloud! And Sanity Panda also, I see in another post.
Years ago I felt completely disconnected from the rest of humanity, I was very shy and depressed. I was so disconnected from my emotions that I wasn't even aware of my depression! If someone asked me my opinion about something, I could tell him, but if he asked me what I liked to do, the God-honest-truth was that I couldn't think of
anything.
Fortunately I was able to get out of this rut, I'll tell about my "process" and insights, maybe it gives you some ideas to work with.
Shyness is i.m.o. the inability to express your true self. This inability is usually caused by repression of your true self in your early years. If a little kid gets too often negative feedback when he expresses himself, he will later on start to censor himself before others will put him down. If this goes too far he will end up being painfully shy.
Just look at little kid of, say 2 years old. They are never shy. Life for them is filled with joy and exciting explorations. Only when they get older, they can become shy.
Now, if you are always repressing yourself, at some point you won't notice your impulses anymore. You've become so accustomed to ignoring them, that it has become an unconsciouss habit. In extreme cases you can loose all connection with your inner life.
Because I was always ignoring my emotions, and couldn't express any negative emotions, the negative emotions pent up. All those pent up negative emotions made it more dangerous to really feel my emotions, so I repressed and ignored my emotions even more. In the end I was hardly aware of any emotion at all and became depressed.
My first breakthrough was that I finally realized that life wasn't going the way I wanted, and I took responsability for making it better. In the course of several years I worked at making my life better, and nowadays it's better than ever before. The old, depressed days are only a dim memory. There is no negative emotion attached to it any more.
I think that a few things were very important:
1. First I learned how to deal with emotions
2. Then I worked through old emotions that were still in my system
3. Only after 1 and 2 I was able to start building the life that I really want (Finding my purpose, goalsetting, effective use of LoA and visualizing, being joyfull most of the time etc)
Many people on this forum say "forget the past and start living your life as yo want it". Well, that is sound advise if you can do it. But when the past hounds you such that you cannot formulate a exciting perspective of your future, or cannot hold that picture in your mind, then you must first work through your issues.
I hope that this post is helpful. If you want more details, just ask!