Originally Posted by SonoranBob
I assert that choosing to think I'm Ghengis Kahn won't make me him.
On the other hand, whoever you really believe yourself to be, well, you are that person. In your own reality.
For example, if you really think & believe yourself to be Bob Sonoran - a grieving middle-aged widower; successful software developer; owner of a clever parrot; a wealthy guy; an ex-Christian, then that's who you are. In your own reality.
As any of those thoughts and beliefs shift, so will Bob Sonoran and his reality. For example, if you start believing in Jesus again, you won't be an ex-Christian. If you change your ideas of what is career success, you might consider yourself a mediocre software developer. If you change your mind and now regard your parrot as a stupid nuisance, then in your reality, it will cease to be a clever parrot.
And on the day you regard yourself as having stopped grieving for your wife, you will have stopped grieving for your wife.