Originally Posted by wolfgang
One person will say nothing is fate, everything is up to you, such that if you guide your thoughts you can get into any state of feeling and this feels like you get to choose all your feelings.
Another will say feelings are part of nature and in response to what fate/life is giving me.
Now, which belief is victim hood? And which is delusional? And which is accurate and natural? And which generates more frustration? And which makes you think you are in complete control? And which would bring more peace? Which is accepting? Which is fighting?
This feels to me like a typical false dichotomy. Any time you have two extreme positions (I'm in control of everything vs I'm in control of nothing) there is generally a middle ground where you find balance.
Some things can be changed, some cannot. Some things require courage and heart to effect change, some require courage and heart to accept What Is.
Neither Angela nor I can change our age, gender, memories, mortality, and a host of other things that just are what they are. I will not side with Kurt Vonnegut, who mocked the Serenity Prayer in Slaughterhouse Five
("among the things Billy Pilgrim could not change were the past, the present and the future") but I will say that one does
need the wisdom to know the difference.