[Angela]

Originally Posted by SonoranBob

To me, Karma is just another contortion used to explain the inexplicable.

I guess I'm asking: why are you even bothering with karma? Are you opening yourself up to the possibility of something other than randomness, and just trying on karma to see how it feels? It doesn't sound like it works well for you. I'm just surprised you don't lay it aside, as you would astrology or tea-reading.

Did you ever see the movie Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? If so, the scene with the fly swatters chasing the protagonists across the desert is a pretty good metaphor for how I react to life.

That's twice you've made me laugh out loud today.

I can't figure out how to care about anything and not care about it.

I can see where it might be challenging to wrap one's head around. But I think that's probably because we've been taught that desire and attachment are the same thing, the way we were with sex and intimacy.

It's not so much caring about it without caring about it, but more like feeling pure, clean anticipation about what you want without placing any meaning on reaching or not reaching it. Like: you'd really like to be in a relationship, and it feels good to hone yourself as the right person for the relationship of your dreams, by taking care of yourself and being the qualities you'd like her to have. You date for fun, you enjoy getting to know women and enjoying their admiration of you, you have a great time feeling sensual and connected with all kinds of different people. You make your friends laugh with stories of your blind dates gone awry. And if your LLTMBR partner doesn't show up as quickly as you'd like her to, or she has blonde hair instead of red, or she's perfect except for that extra 15 pounds, or she rejects you outright, it doesn't mean anything about you -- it doesn't mean you are less, or not good enough, or unloveable, or doomed to be single, etc. etc.... It just means you get to keep purely, cleanly anticipating, if you want to. Or not. You really CARE about being in an LLTMBR, it's important and you are focused and passionate about it, but your feeling good is not dependent on it. You are dynamically willing to be joyful or content or peaceful or whatever, regardless of who she is and what she does and when she shows up. Interestingly enough, it's that very autonomy in feeling good that draws her to you. (Or if you are attached to an outcome, usually you end up drawing a woman who has a complementary attachment, and you both end up wondering why things are less than completely satisfying and fulfilling in your relationship.) It's not that you don't care about it -- you care very much! -- it's that the outcome, whether it matches your vision or not, doesn't mean anything about you.

Does that make sense to you?