[Maguru]

Originally Posted by Angela

Do you mean, "yes, suffering is not necessary, it's avoidable, and maybe not desirable?"

If so, why do you struggle so against my encouragement to let it go?

I believe prevention is better than cure.

And yes, I've been going through and answering your questions -- that has been my purpose in quoting your questions and answering them. Have you not noticed that?

No. You give me your opinions on some of the issues and become side tracked like feeling delighted with yourself.

And you got one! I am genuinely delighted by both the subject matter and you, personally. More specifically, being able to think here "out loud" -- outside the bones of my head, answering your questions about suffering and peace, allows me to examine my own beliefs, and to clarify for myself what I'm up to -- that is, Being Encouragement and Choosing Peace right here right now, regardless of external circumstance.

The example I gave of Nero was to show inappropriate behavioural response to a serious issue. When you look deeper, his behaviour was appropriate for his feelings. Likewise, your response has nothing to do with the issues we are discussing as you clearly demonstrate above and again...........

To me, the issues you've been addressing (people's responses to 9/11 and other challenging circumstances) are truly, madly, deeply delightful! Delightful because it's fun to watch what ways of being people choose out of all the myriad and endless possibilities. Even the choices that don't look like are working too well. And then you have the response to challenging circumstances by someone like Gene -- Wow! He is so powerful, and so delightful, in living the kind of life he wants to live, regardless of circumstance, regardless of stories of his past. We have such freedom! - even when we don't realize we are free I find that very delightful!

What about global responses to terrorism?

I too admire Gene but what about his father? What about the town's cruelty?What about the dead comrades' families? Gene is but one and if it was so simple, everyone would be happy little chappies.

And you personally, you delight me with your words and thoughts because you're making free choices, too, and finding out how things go, and you seem to be so committed to personal growth. I am also delighted by the fact that I push your buttons -- because, as I've mentioned a thousand times or so, I believe that when our buttons are pushed, there is treasure available to us. I am pulling for you to get your treasure. That's why I ask you questions about those buttons. It's great fun, like watching a movie where you're rooting for the heroine!

Angela, you don't even know what I am thinking. We don't need another hero and I am certainly not, nor wish to be.

By the way, I'd just like to point out that you just did to me exactly what you were complaining I had done to you: you dismissed my feelings (of delight) as being chosen "out of thin air" and suggesting it's inappropriate. It's no skin off my nose that you have done that, but don't you think it's interesting that the very thing that pushed your buttons (having your feelings dismissed) is something that you are generating for others? In my experience, that's something that happens all the time when buttons get pushed -- we generate for others exactly the quality that is bugging us for ourselves.

I do not dispute your feelings of delight are authentic but they have nothing to do with the issues, as you have explained in great detail and nothing to do with me. You skip the issues, and that which you think you see in me is a reflection of yourself as you well know.

I believe you when you say being mugged had no effect on you. My question is why not? I believe you when you say your boyfriend's opinions upset you. My question is why? I see in you who I used to be. I'll explain why. I don't usually reveal personal experiences of this kind and I still would rather not but I think it is appropriate in this case.

When I was 36yrs old, I was raped. It seemed to have no effect because I was more concerned with what my family thought of me and more concerned with their outrage and upset. My wounded self created a way to deal with the experience and that was to 'not think about it'. I didn't. I didn't talk about it. I was very positive. I now know for sure I did not respond to my feelings. I reacted to others.

The experience changed me at a subconscious level. It stripped me of my trust, my freedom, my rights, my world view and much more. It took years of quietly eating away at me before it surfaced. I know this effect is no way unique but it manifests uniquely. We cannot know what goes on in the subconscious. We can only witness the manifestations from it.

I did not see my own. I did not deal with my fear. With the help of a caring therapist, I have now but my daughters have not. This is the source of my suffering. My role as Mother. You believe I can choose to feel delighted at the damage done to my children through me?

You cannot choose to be happy. You either are or are not. You cannot choose to be encouraging. You either are or not. You cannot choose peace. You either are peace or you are not. Being is not choice.

Angela, I see the real beauty of our relationship in the form of opposite ends of the spectrum. However, we are not entirely opposite. On rare occasions your projection is spot on but do you really recognize yourself? You are forever commenting on who I am. It's not me. It's you.